Dance in the moment

I have posted some posts now about powerful questions, but it is also important to that good questions are one thing. But what if you use your time with the mentee to prepare the next questions and not listen properly to what your mentee is saying?

A great coach taught at a University and their Coaching Certificate for many years and he found that students were ever eager for the right «powerful question.» It became a mild obsession among some of them to have just the right, the perfect, the well phrased question that would tip a coaching conversation to depth and value. And he too had long sought those powerful questions – and still do.

Over time he began to notice that some of these emerging coaches were missing whole chunks of critical dialogue – they were talking past treasured clues that the clients were freely giving up. But they had great questions!

He began challenging the coaches to forget their «powerful questions,» to risk asking stupid questions or, when right, to ask nothing at all and remain still in silent expectation.

There are times when focusing on the best question distracts us from attending to the wealth of data being provided in the coaching interaction. Of course there are terrific questions to prompt the coaching dialogue – dozens have been listed. His greatest task is to be curious – to make efforts to be present to the exchange. When he pull that off he find that the questions he was seeking are inherent in the conversation, He do not require to remember or think of a question.

I was also like the students who wanted to have all the powerful questions ready for every mentee/mentor session. But what happened, well I could´t use them because the mentee respond differently than I had thought of. But after more experience I find myself starting to go with the flow, or dancing in the moment…

10 steps to programming your dreams – Part II

With the help oflucid dreaming, i.e. programming yourself for a specific dream, you can get answers to questions that remain open in real life and reveal some secrets of your personality. This is the last five steps in a 10-step guide to dreaming what you want to dream:

6. Learn to enter in the altered states of consciousness, which accompany us before and after sleep. Do not fall asleep immediately, as soon as your head touches the pillow, and do not jump out of bed immediately after waking up. A state between dream and reality is a sort of window to the worlds where we can get important information.

7. During falling asleep, when you are in such an altered state of consciousness, vizualize the smallest details of the picture you want to dream. Engage your imagination and fantasy

8. When you wake up, do not rush back to reality and try to cling to the remnants of the picturesthat have not yet completely evaporated from your mind.

9. When sleep completely leaves you and you are fully awake, write down everything you remember, and everything that pops into your mind, without getting out of bed.

10. If you had a deliberate approach to the dream programming, then you will meet what you wanted to see in the description of your dream. Training yourself in this way every day, you will achieve great results, and then your dreams will become your faithful helpers and allies in the real world.

 

The whole article can be read here

10 steps to programming your dreams – Part I

In our dreams we encounter the subconscious, which can tell a lotabout our lives and help resolve difficult situations. With the help oflucid dreaming, i.e. programming yourself for a specific dream, you can get answers to questions that remain open in real life and reveal some secrets of your personality. This is a 10-step guide to dreaming what you want to dream:

1. A few hours before bedtime, try to relax and not to overload yourself with unnecessary emotions and experiences, dense meal and physical exercise.

2. Decide on what you want to dream. It should not be a detailed description of the plot, because dreams are built on their own internal logic. Specify what kind of intellectual or creative problem you want to solve, or maybe you want to visit a foreign country, go on an adventure or see your relative who lives far away. In any case, the task should reflect a real situation that bothers you.

3. After specifying the purpose you want to accomplish with the help of your dreams, write it downon a piece of paper.

4. Now you need to get ready for remembering your dream. To do this, put a pad and pen next to your bed in order to write down as more details as possible just after waking up.

5. Program yourself for waking up as soon as you dream what you want to dream. The fact is that in one night we can have several dreams, but, as a rule, we remember only the last one. So it is necessary to wake up as soon as the desired dream ends.

This is a part of the article written by Anna in Learning Mind

12 Habits that will make you a happier person

On the site to Learning Mind they talked about being happy, and for us up in northern europe we are going into the dark times. Meaning that it is winter and the sun isn´t that much here and it is cold. In this time of the year we are more prone to depression, bad mood and sometimes we feel particularly unhappy. But maybe it has to do with the habit of complaining and shifting the blame to the bad weather? Much better is to replace bad words and habits with the good ones that will help us keep a positive attitude and feel happy even in gloomy autumn days.

1. Appreciate every moment

Live today and now. Rejoice every detail: a sunny day, a beautiful scenery, an interesting book, a smiling stranger. Think of someone that cannot see, hear, feel… But you are lucky, so appreciate this.

2. Do what you like

You cannot do every day something that makes you feel unhappy (uninteresting work, annoying “friends”, unloved people). Everyday stress not only prevents live fully, but also deprives health. Find a way to give up things and people that prevent you to be happy and enjoy life. Do not waste your energy on something that does not bring you joy or somebody who does not deserve you.

3. Do not try to be perfect, always be yourself

Do not try to be perfect in everything, it is impossible. Improve yourself, but enjoy the process itself,do not torment yourself with unattainable images. Do not imitate unthinkingly, keep your individuality.

 

Read the rest of the article here

Powerful mentoring/coaching sessions

Some coaches also are posting a series of questions and enough questions for a whole year or so, and here we are talking about different situations.

 

* Establishing Trust-

A. What expectations do you have as a result of our coaching session?
B. What are your short and long term goals?
C. Have you ever been coached before? (have them describe their experience)

* Focus-

A. What do you want to accomplish today?
B. What’s the priority?
C. Where do you want to start?

* Possibilities and Options-

A. Do you have ideas for a solution to the problem?
B. What ideas do you have to help meet your goals?
C. What do think would happen if… (I left the total solution up to you)
D. What other ideas could help you meet your goals?
E. What do you prefer to try and why?
F. If you were sitting in my chair how would you handle this?

* an Action Plan- (setting SMART goals)

A. What is it that you will accomplish? I will (they need to be specific, also
realistic, too many goals are not realistic)
B. What will success look like? Needs to be measurable (quantitative)
C. Tell me one step can you take now? Needs to be action oriented
D. Of all the options we discussed, which is the best? Needs to be realistic
E. When will you accomplish this goal? Need a definite time frame
F. What support or resources do you need to achieve your desired results? List
and reaffirm your support (be specific about what you are willing to offer)

* Barriers-

A. What roadblocks do you expect?
B. How will you overcome?
C. Is there anything in your way now? If so, what?
D. If all roadblocks are removed, is there anything else that would prevent you
from succeeding?
E. What concerns do you have?

* Commitments and Goals-

A. What will you do and by when?
B. What resources will you use to complete your next steps?
C. What are your next steps?
D. What do you commit to completing by next meeting?
E. How do you want me to hold you accountable?

* and Measure Results-

A. How do you feel about your actual results compared to your goal?
B. What’s working? What’s not working and what will you change going
forward?
C. What measures did you put in place to help ensure your success?
D. What roadblocks did you face and how did you deal with them?
E. Since our last meeting what have you learned about yourself as it pertains to
goal setting?

Guest Blog: My life as a coach – Part II

What has it given me to be a coach?

  • Being a coach has made me a much more human.
  • It has taught me to be myself. It has taught me to trust myself and my feelings.
  • It has taught me to follow my heart and use my common sense into something positive.
  • It has taught me more about people, people’s dreams and behavior than 6 years of study and a lifetime has done.
  • It has made me a much better mother, friend, girlfriend and sister.
  • It has given me a career that today I’m really proud of.
  • I have worked with some of the largest business leaders.
  • I’ve trained a lot of great people on our coach education.
  • I have coached single mothers, people in doubt, men with identity problems and others
  • Helped people to start their careers, got entrepreneurs off the ground.
  • Lectured for 5 and 5000 people at a time.
  • Made radio interviews, television and advertising
  • Written and designed newsletters
  • Invented new tools and models.
  • Created a mastercoach education and a variety of courses in cooperation with Sofia and Chris, or alone.

I am both Sofia Manning and her coaching model deeply grateful. Naturally, also Chris Manning. But Sofia was the first in which believed in me.

I remember it like it was yesterday, she said, «of course you can make it happen, if that’s what you really want!», When I, in our first meeting,  said: «I will be coach, business coach and I will also give lectures one day»(something that I found at that time sounded almost more ambitious and unrealistic, that to go after the  Human Relations-work).

Had I known what a huge and radical influence the few words from her mouth, would have on my life. And how wonderful our journey together, I had carved them in stone or screamed aloud with happiness. Something like that.

I will have them in my memory for ever. And above all, coaching philosophy, has become part of my identity. A part of who I am and part of my life. I AM a coach. Thinking as a coach and live as a coach. In my eyes, there is nothing better.

If you want you can read more about Manning Inspire which is Mie Madsen´s work here (In Danish): http://www.sofiamanning.com

Guest Blog: My life as a coach – Part I

In 2004 I was lying half asleep on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon and read a ladies’ magazine.

 

Even though I was in love, I still missed something in my life. Something that made sense and challenged me intellectually, something that gave me a feeling of meaning something  for someone, something that made ​​me forget myself. Something that was sufficiently creative, practical and interesting.

Basically I had no idea what I wanted with my life. When people asked me, I said that I would be Human Relations employee in the Danish Broadcasting Corporation. It was my dream. Out the proportions and totally unrealistic, I thought no, I was also fully aware of what it was? It’s almost funny to think back on. But it was far from funny when I was in the middle of it.

All for the ladies, paradoxical as it may sound, was the direct route to my career …

As today I would not exchange for anything in the world. Nothing. Nothing Human Relations jobs or other attractive positions. Let me say it straight away and say it out loud:

I have the best job in the world, best work day, students, colleagues and not least the world’s 2 best business partners, Sofia and Chris.

Today I am not using a minute to consider whether I am in the right place in my life – if I made ​​the right choice. I am exactly where I should be. As a coach, with a high C. And I love it.

You have guaranteed already figured out that it was not «only» The magazine  «Alt for Damerne» (Danish magazine) who paved the way for the happiness of my life. It was the woman I read about in the article, of course, none other than Sofia Manning.

I remember how exotic just her name sounded at the time. Sofia Manning.

The article and coach Sofia Manning asked primarily a lot of coaching questions:

What do you really want?

How would you live your life?

What prevents you?

What will it take for you to get exactly the life you dream of?

Question I had not thought about in many years, if ever. In 2004 I had, in spite of many years of psychology and communication studies at Roskilde University (in Denmark), never heard of coaching.

But something hit me. Right in the stomach and right in the heart. Something got me off the couch and started to write Sofia Manning an email. A very passionate email, which flowed from my fingers and was written finished in 10th minutes.

The email had one desired outcome: to meet this amazing lady and become a coach.

I still did not really know what coaching was, or why I would be a coach and have a coach training? But I would.

Sweet, well-meaning people around me thought it was a crazy idea for several reasons, and they spent a lot of time and energy to question me: «Why now spend time on yet another training? You already have a ‘real’ education. «Why spend money that you do not have to magnify your debt?» «Why on earth throw you into something you do not know what is?» Etc. etc.

Why?

 Because I could feel in my heart that it was true. It was just me. To ask questions and help other people. That simple. I knew it.

And I have never regretted. Not just 5 seconds.

(And I also have (almost) kept me from being the one who laughs last …))

Read more of Mie Madsen and her story in the next article.

The Legend: Paul «Bear» Bryant

 

Have you ever heard about Paul Bear Bryant? I think you have, because he was one of the greatest football      coaches of all time. After he passed away his wife found a folded letter in his wallet. She never knew he had it, but because of the letters worn out of shape it was obvious he had unfolded it and read it over and over.

 

Here is what Coach Bryant read maybe every day:

 This is the beginning of a new day, God has given me this day to use as I will.

 I can waste it or use it for good.

 What I do today is very important. Because I am exchanging a day in my life for it.

 When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever. Leaving something in its place I have traded for it.

 I want it to be gain, not loss – good not evil.

 Success, not failure in order that I shall not forget the price I paid for it.

 

Talent Management

 

Mentoring is a business and a professionl imperative, and, as such, it is an important aspect of talent development, helps to reduce attrition, improves performance and bridges expertise gaps. Thats what Sheila Forte-Trammel says. And she should know, she is co-author of the book «Intelligent Mentoring: How IBM creates value through people, knowledge, and relationships»

You can order her book on Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/Intelligent-Mentoring-Creates-Knowledge-Relationships/dp/0137130848

Human capital always looks for ways to close experience gaps, and metopes like formal training and classroom learning can help. But the real thing her should be active use of mentoring.

They say in the article that because of the experiential and practical nature of mentoring, employees who engage in this relationship are in a position to gain  insights on new and different perspectives on ways to execute various tasks.

Read the whole article here: http://smsepub.com/publication/frame.php?i=126486&p=18&pn=&ver=flex

Remember to also read  the «Make it Work» list on page 48.

Celebrate your achievements

I have also contributed to «Favorite coaching questions», with a question I find important. When you are working to reach your goal I think it is important to celebrate when you reach it, therefore:

How would you like to celebrate when reaching your goal? 

And I think that is a important question because we can´t just thick it out of the to-do list and then go for the next goal. We have to celebrate to tell yourself that you have reach a goal, stop and lean back for a moment…

 

This is posted on my birthday 1st of october, and I am going out to celebrate with good friends and family.