Last evening with the mentoring program in Stavanger University

This is always a fantastic evening, with all the mentee and mentors. First I meet the mentee for some Feedback and one of the fun question to Ask is  «What do you think your mentor have learned from you»?At first they dont know But after some time they say that maybe Young spirit, new perspective on things  and own reflection is some of the things. And asking the mentor the same question they say Exactly the same. 

It was a really good time with some wine and three course dinner. We give out diploma to the mentees and crystal to the mentors. And the mentees bring flowers to their mentor and to is coordinaters. 

Dare you learn from others?

Do you dare to let others learn from you?

As a mentor, you are a role model. Whether you like it or not.

Want to be a role model?

As a child we learn that a ‘copycat’ is not something to aspire to. Who wants to be a copycat?

One of the things I am talking about regarding menthe and mentor relationship is «to teach people to learn from each other». I don´t talk about «look at me – and copy it»… But with a finer word, we can call it knowledge.
And that’s something to strive for.

Maybe you have a colleague or some neighbor, look what they do and ‘copy’ it.
That simple. But something that many still often forget. Both at work and at home.

One of the biggest obstacles we people have is that we often think that all the others are much smarter, better, more fun and more successful than ourselves.
The truth is, in fact – to be little in the children’s perspective – «what you are saying is you yourself…»

Visualize having accomplished your goal

Visualize having accomplished your goal.
Your brain will start working toward your goal when you can first picture it clearly.

Try to look at lifemastering™ that is a smart tool to help you to clarify your dreams and transform them to reality. Their goal setting tools, including a vision board and an activity planner, help you define your visions, goals and activities. Click the logo to see more.

Mentor one person – change two lives

Searching the web and you will find a lot of interesting stuff and not least you find mentoring used in different ways. Some of the best ways to read about is when itś used for young people, like Volunteer Match, here are their video: «Volunteers are beautiful people».







They are bringing people together and they also strengthens communities by making it easier for good people and good causes to connect. The organization offers a variety of online services to support a community of nonprofit,volunteer and business leaders committed to civic engagement. Our popular service welcomes millions of visitors a year and has become the preferred internet recruiting tool for more than 97,000 nonprofit organizations.

There are different ways to work, and here are two ways to do it:

Lunch Buddy

Spend 30 minutes each week during the school year with an elementary school student during their lunchtime. Mentors can share stories, play games, or just enjoy lunch with friends. All mentors are provided with a week-to-week guide of optional activities and conversation starters. A mentor coordinator is available to help or answer questions at any time. Lunch Buddies is conveniently offered at all Covington elementary schools. For adults, 18 years and older.

After -School Buddy

Spend 30-60 minutes each week with an elementary school student after school (between 3:00 and 6:00pm). This program is especially flexible and will work around schedules, as mentors can vary the time they show up each week. Mentors can share stories, play games, participate in after-school programming with their mentee, and more! All mentors are provided with a week-to-week guide of optional activities and conversation starters. A mentor coordinator is available to help or answer questions at any time. The After-School Buddy program is offered at Ninth District Elementary and John G. Carlisle Elementary School. For adults, 18 years and older.

They started back in 1994, four MBA’s – Mark Benning, Joanne Ernst, Steve Glikbarg, and Cindy Shove – draft plans to launch an online nonprofit to promote community involvement and already in 1995, they were on Netscape’s «What’s Cool» list.

I found this on Youtube also about this topic, «Mentor one person, change two lives 

The Mentor´s way Rule #5 – Balance Empathy and Action

By Rik Nemanick, Ph.D.

As trust grows between a mentor and a protégé, the mentor will notice a change in the types of issues the protégé wants to discuss. The issues often become more complex, demanding, or recurring. Because of their more challenging nature, they usually also are more emotionally charged. In fact, this change is often a signal to a mentor that trust has built to the point that the protégé feels comfortable brining these more sensitive issues into the mentoring conversation. They signal a turning point in the partnership that many mentors miss.

Up until this point, many of the issues a protégé brought to the mentoring discussion were simpler, with easier solutions that a mentor and protégé could devise quickly. However, as the protégé and mentor wade into the deeper waters of the more complex issues, the answers won’t come as quickly or easily. And, many of these issues carry with them an emotional component that wasn’t present in the earlier issues. When mentors miss the signal the emotions present, and continue to try to focus on the issues at hand. However, they usually trip over the protégé’s emotions, and see the protégé stall out in progress. What these mentors miss is the fact that the protégé is looking as much for empathy as for a solution.

Empathy, which is the ability to understand and share someone’s feelings, is often confused with sympathy, which is feeling pity or sorry for someone. Protégés look for empathy from a mentor because a mentor has already been in the protégé’s shoes before. When a mentor empathizes with a protégé, she is connecting with a time when she felt how the protégé feels now because she has had a similar experience in the past. The ability to empathize often separates a mentor from a coach; coaches oftensympathize with someone because they haven’t been in a similar situation before. Mentors often have the ability to truly empathize with a protégé, which can strengthen the connection between them.

Empathy benefits a protégé in many ways. When facing a difficult or intractable issue, a protégé often feels like she or he is the only one who is struggling. A lot of comfort comes from the protégé knowing that she or he is not along and is not the only one who has faced this issue before. The protégé also is looking for some validation that it is okay to feel this way. No one wants to feel out of control or in the grip of emotions. We all want some rational basis for why we feel the way we do. By empathizing with the protégé, the mentor is giving the protégé time and space to acknowledge and express the feelings.

When we are grappling with a difficult issue, emotions often keep us from a rational appraisal of our situation. Emotions live in our more primitive brain, and have a way of creating noise that inhibits our more rational brain from gaining the perspective needed to solve problems. Acknowledging and expressing emotions helps calm down the primitive brain and allow the reasoned brain to begin to see the situation differently.

The mistake many mentors make is to drive by the emotional content of the protégé’s issue and go straight to problem solving. Doing this can cause the trust a mentor and protégé have built to plateau, or even erode. Without adequate empathy, a protégé can feel belittled (my issue isn’t important), ignored (my mentor isn’t listening to me), or foolish (I’m the only one who has been tripped up by this issue).

The ability to feel and express empathy is difficult to teach, but it can often be improved. There are many ways a mentor can empathize with a protégé.

  1. Emphasize the “safe place” aspect of mentoring. By reminding the protégé that the mentoring conversation is a safe place, the mentor is giving the protégé permission to get feelings out and express them without judgment. Such a validation can allow the protégé to let go of some of the emotion.
  2. Use feeling words to identify and validate the emotions. Often naming an emotion goes a long way to making a protégé feel understood. By saying, “I can see that this makes you very frustrated,” creates an opening for a protégé to acknowledge his or her own feelings. It helps to build up your emotional lexicon to give you words to name emotions. You can find a starter list here.
  3. Relate your own experiences. The feeling of empathy comes from being able to relate to someone else’s experience. As a mentor, you are more likely than others to have faced similar issues to your protégé. You can share your experiences using “Feel, Felt, Found.” “I can see that you feel ____. I have felt that way when____. What I have found is that _____.”
  4. Test to see if the protégé is ready to start considering solutions. The longer the issue has been festering, the longer it may take for the protégé to let go of the emotions. You don’t want to hurry a protégé along too quickly if the emotions haven’t been fully explored or expressed. Check to see if the protégé wants to think about solutions yet, or if the time would be better spent talking through the emotions.

The caution for mentors is not to get caught up wallowing with a protégé. If the turn is never made to actions a protégé can take, the emotions can begin to overwhelm the conversation and become a whirlpool that continues to pull downward. It is important to find the balance between empathy and action.

Look here for the original blogpost, and to Rik Nemanick´s homepage

Summer Holiday 2013

I Norway the schools closed today AND I are leaving on my summer vacations, this year to Spain. But don´t worry, I will be posting blogpost all summer,

Have a really, really nice vacation and remember to charge your batteries…


– Thor-Erik –

How to get a Fabulous Workday

It takes just as much effort to have a wonderful day as it does to have a miserable one. Why not enjoy yourself?

Want to have the best workday ever?  Day after day?  It’s not as difficult as you think.

 in hese 10 tweaks to your everyday behavior will virtually guarantee you a day that’s not just enjoyable but allows you to get more done than you ever thought possible.

Read the whole article here:

Calculating Startup Costs – Week 3

You’ll want a good estimate of the cash you need to launch. These tips can help. The third in a 10-part series.

It’s critical to determine how much cash you’ll need to open and operate your business before hanging your shingle. To keep your business running smoothly in its startup phase, you’ll need enough capital to cover all expenses until you reach the break-even point. Many experts recommend new companies start out with enough money to cover projected expenses for at least six months. It’s foolhardy to expect to generate revenue immediately — it’s best to plan for all contingencies.

Create a checklist of expenditures. These tips can help you get started:

  • List the equipment, furniture, supplies and people needed to operate your business.
  • Itemize startup costs for inventory, signage, sales and marketing literature or tools, research and product development, licenses, permits, operating capital, and legal or professional fees.
  • Calculate your monthly overhead for rent, supplies, utilities, business and health insurance, taxes, Internet access, shipping and other services.
  • Factor in your salary and employee or contractor wages.
Refer to industry-specific startup resources for additional costs that may apply to your respective business type. To determine accurate cost estimates, a good rule of thumb is to assume everything will cost more than you expect. Pad your number to create a safety net.

Then, tally and double-check the numbers before you begin writing your business plan and searching for startup funds.