What To Talk About When There’s Nothing To Talk About

In the time-poor environment that we have created, mentorees are very concerned about wasting their mentor’s time. Mentorees are often hesitant to contact their mentor or schedule meetings when they have no burning issue to discuss. This is a mistake.

You might feel there’s no point meeting at times when you have no problems. When you are working toward longer-term goals and are progressing but have no current actions or outcomes to discuss, a meeting may seem unnecessary. And it’s easy to skip meeting if you are very busy with day-to-day activities and haven’t focused on your personal development since the last mentoring conversation.

It is good to have an agenda for mentoring conversations, even if it’s just a few bullet points, because it shows respect for the mentor’s time, it helps maintain focus and provides both parties with a sense of accomplishment and completion. However, a lack of an agenda should not stop a mentoring conversation. Mentors may need to take the lead to reassure their partner of their commitment because mentoring conversations when it seems «there’s nothing to talk about» may be vital.


No Problem
Mentoring conversations are not just about solving problems or making decisions. They are about the availability of a person, with whom to have a conversation that provokes creative and critical thinking. A key benefit of mentoring is the relationship. However, the relationship needs to be established and well maintained if problems or important decisions are to be confidently shared when they do arise.

Conversations about what is going well are extremely useful too. Celebrating success is not simply a feel-good exercise. The purpose of mentoring is to create and capture insight, then use it. Reviewing positive outcomes and satisfaction will reveal and reinforce the constructive behaviours that led to success and clarify personal values and priorities. By listening and questioning a mentor can facilitate much greater awareness and positive actions that will enhance the mentoree’s life.

Long-term Goals
People often use mentoring to identify career direction and work towards it. These goals are not usually achieved over night but as a result of specific actions over time. So naturally, there will be pauses between. In a mentoring program over a finite period, the early momentum can come to a halt after initial action steps are implemented. Some mentoring relationships can survive long gaps between contacts but some won’t. People wonder how best to get value in the interim.

It is useful to have a «default agenda» a standard format that produces constructive conversation. This could be as simple as reviewing the week/fortnight/month’s highlights and low points and accomplishments. The mentor may ask a series of questions that prompt reflection and learning, such as: «what’s working well for you, right now?» and «what could be improved?» My mentor asks: «what is your greatest challenge, right now?» A new, short-term goal and actions, or at least awareness and focus, often result.

Personal Development
No matter what qualifications, age or career stage one has achieved, on-going personal development is a must. Even if an individual development plan negotiated with a manager, linked to performance appraisal and formalised, taking personal responsibility for self-directed learning and development is essential. It is easy, to let the demands of day-to-day work and hectic life style get in the way of personal aspirations and our growth as a human being. If we lose sight of what is truly important, if we have no sense of purpose, life can become a meaningless round of chores interspersed with moments of instant gratification.

Mentoring conversations are all about discovering meaning and purpose – for mentors as well as mentorees. The mentor might share his or her own life-lessons and insights that led to personal development. This can be immensely valuable to both parties .

The social support offered by relationships, should not be underestimated in the too-busy life so many of us lead. When you don’t have time, or have nothing to talk about may be exactly the time to have a mentoring conversation! Investing time really communicating another human being, taking time out to pause and reflect or simply stoping to smell the roses (or the coffee) is never a waste of time! That’s how mentoring works.

The author of this article is Ann Rolfe, and was first published in 2010 on www.mentoring-works.com.

Patrick Knight in critical but stable condition

Patrick survived the shooting on Thursday, November 26, in Jupiter, Florida (USA), a city about 200 miles from Miami, but Patrick’s pregnant wife, Lisa, and three other family members did not. Patrick was hospitalized and was in critical but stable condition on Friday afternoon.

Patrick, an attorney in Miami, Florida, has been actively involved in JCI since he joined in 1999. As JCI Coconut Grove (USA) President, he revived that local organization, nearly tripling its membership.

His involvement as a JCI trainer has also been outstanding. He contributed to the success of the 2009 JCI World Congress in Hammamet as the host of the JCI Morning Shows.

On behalf of JCI members worldwide, JCI President Jun Sup Shin and JCI Secretary General Edson A. Kodama would like to extend our deepest condolences to Patrick as well as to family and friends on the death of Lisa and the three other family members. We pray for Patrick’s prompt and complete recovery and will keep members abreast of his condition.

Articles covering the tragedy:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/thanksgiving-massacre-gunman-kills-relatives-dinner/story?id=9189258

http://ww.examiner.com (the article is taken away)

http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/MI137435/

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,577206,00.html?test=latestnews

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/11/27/florida.shooting/index.html

http://www.wptv.com/content/news/northpbc/jupiter/story/Shooting-at-Thanksgiving-gathering-in-Jupiter/C9CCTgKqtUG6tFM6t3SmBA.cspx

http://www.wpbf.com/news/21735694/detail.htmlhttp://www.wptv.com/content/news/northpbc/jupiter/story/jupiter-shooting-victim-makayla-sitton/o4dQzBCDU0eXmlvrsRWYhw.cspx

http://www.wptv.com/mediacenter/local.aspx?videoid=16342@wptv.dayport.com&navCatId=3

Five Benefits of Working with a Coach or Mentor

Being a leader can be a really lonely existence.  Expectations are high and it can often be a real struggle to stay on top of your game and continually deliver great results.  Continuing to develop as a leader has never been so vital not least because of the major challenges facing many organisations right now.

For those at a more senior level working with a coach or mentor is often a great way of continuing to develop.  So what are the benefits?

Benefit 1: Thinking time

The pace at which leaders operate in organisations is often relentless and means that there is little or no time to stand back and take stock.  Being able to stand back from issues and challenges allows you to clearly think through the choices, look at challenges in different ways and ultimately to take better decisions.  And if you are taking better decisions it means better results for you personally and the organisation.

Benefit 2: Ongoing support

Training is great and I have been to many great training courses over the years.  Trouble is most training courses are a one shot opportunity.  What I mean by that is that you go along to the course, leave enthusiastic and an few months later find you are back where you started.  If you are a leader looking to be more effective over the long term you know that it is going to take time.  Having that ongoing support can help you make that sustained change in performance.

Benefit 3: Personal attention

In my experience of working with clients there are often some very specific areas of focus that leaders and managers want to work on.  Sometimes it might be about strategies and tactics that they can apply and other times it might be tackling areas of self doubt or misconceptions.  I also notice that they rarely need to work on all aspects of a particular topic but more on one or two areas.   The nature of the relationship means that it is much easier to tailor the programme to meet specific needs.

Benefit 4: Highly time efficient

I know that when I was in leadership and management roles, creating the time to attend a 2 or 3 day course was often a real challenge.  By comparison finding a couple of hours a month to work with a coach was much more time efficient and effective.

Benefit 5: Return on Investment

Ultimately if you are investing time, money and energy into something the return on what you have invested will be important.  Research into the benefits of coaching indicates that the return on investment is in the region of 500-700%.  Now these numbers might well look huge but let’s take a look at an example.  Imagine you are a senior manager who aspires to be a Director.  Ask yourself what’s the difference in salary and benefits?  In a field like accountancy, the differential between a number one and number two can easily be in the £30-50,000 per annum range.  If you are in the number one job for say 10 years, that could mean an extra £300-£500,000 to your earnings.  So look at your investment in terms of the lifetime value.

Bottom Line – Continuing to develop as a leader is no longer an optional extra.  If you are serious about realising your professional and personal potential, working with a coach or mentor might just be the catalyst.

How To Maintain The Momentum Of Mentoring

Mentoring program coordinators need to have ongoing communication with participants to stimulate engagement, motivation and answer questions or concerns. But how do you keep up the contact in a useful and interesting way? Many successful programs send regular Mentoring Works Tips.

Mentoring Tips could be one page, easy to read and practical. They should be designed for mentors and suitable for mentorees and managers. Consistently delivering Mentoring Tips:

  • Provides mentors with information, tools and motivation
  • Keeps mentorees engaged in the process
  • Informs managers of mentoring techniques and benefits

 

The author of this article is Ann Rolfe, and was first published 10. november 2010 on www.mentoring-works.com.

Ten actions that are guaranteed to motivate you!

Motivation

Life is filled with experiences that take you up to the highest hills, and down into the deepest caves. And I am no different. These are the ten things I do when I need to dig myself out of a cave, or use as a parachute when I tumble down from the highest mountain!
10: Music
Music is claimed to origin from the rhythms of nature. From the wind sweeping over the sea, over the rocks, hailing through the forest. From birds singing, wolfs crying. From the shifts of nature that bangs on constantly, silently, wild, endlessly. The first humans gathered the rhythms using drums, sticks and hauling. Over the years the rhythms has evolved and refined itself, creating music.
Music is energy. Refined, redefined energy. It surrounds us. And it controls our emotions. You can easily control your moods by the type of music you listen to – happy, sad, energetic, lazy, strong, angry. And if you use music consciously, you can learn to control your moods and create your own motivating playlist.
Your playlist can be used for many things – from working out, helping you reach your goals, getting you up in the morning, helping you relax, getting you “in da mood” – you name it, the right kind of music will do the trick!

To read more, click here:

bebetter.no/node/267

Working book for the mentee

Last week my latest book for the mentee was finished and came from print. I use «print on demand» and www.lulu.com

The book looked very god in the new design, and I have started on translate it to english. I have a good friend in the US who will do it for me. As a lawyer, writer and trainer he knows what to do.

For now the book is in norwegian, just send me an email if you want to order.

The price is Euro 16,25 + shipping.

Leadership Development Seminar in AIESEC UiO

Sadly this training was stopped because of lack of interest(?). Sad that students and next generation leaders don´t take their time to participant in a good and practical leadertraining program.

BUT, I am trying to set them up with Junior Chamber International Oslo and their brand new leadership program for 2010.

Hope they can do it together. We will see, and maybe more to come on this blog about that.

Mentors for new teachers

We have some of the same problem in Norway with new teachers coming to job and know «nothing» about whats going on in the classroom. Of course they have the theoretical from their education, but no one is standing ready to help them in their new school.

Every new teacher should have a mentor when they get started in a new school. Because every school is different and the students also are different.

Sandra Feldman, president of the Washington, D.C.-based American Federation of Teachers, says the same.

In a speech this March (2009) at the White House Conference on Preparing Quality Teachers, Feldman stated: «Most teachers, whether they came into the profession through an alternative path, or through a regular teacher education program — as do more than 80 percent of our teachers in the US — will tell you they felt unprepared when they entered the classroom

In the past, those who couldn’t cope with the challenges left teaching. Today the profession can’t afford to have newly credentialed teachers leave the field in frustration. «When there were ample people entering the profession and not as many about to retire, we could afford a high rate of attrition,» said Dougherty. «Now, we can’t afford to lose anyone.»

I would love to start mentorprogram for teachers worlwide, just find the money for it. This is a problem for a lot of countries and they have to realise it.

Young Enterprice Oslo

I am going back to The Norwegian Mentor Program and a training for their mentors. They are doing a mentor program for the young leaders in Young Enterprice in Oslo and Akershus in Norway.

They are being mentors to help young students in their work as leader in their school businesses. More about this will come later.