Kategori: Mental health

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How to Take Control of Your Inner Voice – And Stop Sabotaging Yourself

We all have that voice in our head. You know the one. The voice that whispers:

  • «You’re not good enough.»
  • «You’ll never succeed.»
  • «Why even bother trying?»

But here’s the thing: That voice is lying. And the worst part? We believe it. We allow it to dictate our actions, our decisions, and ultimately, our potential.

What Is Negative Self-Talk and Limiting Beliefs?

Negative self-talk is the constant, often subconscious, stream of thoughts that undermines your confidence and abilities. It’s that automatic reaction that tells you «you can’t» before you’ve even tried.

Limiting beliefs, on the other hand, are the mental barriers we create based on fear, doubt, or past experiences. Statements like:

  • «I’m not smart enough.»
  • «I don’t have the resources to succeed.»
  • «It’s too late for me to make a change.»

These thoughts are not based on facts. They are assumptions built on fear and insecurity.

The Science Behind Negative Self-Talk

Research from the National Science Foundation reveals that 80% of our daily thoughts are negative, and 95% are repetitive. This means that if you were tearing yourself down yesterday, chances are you’re doing the exact same thing today.

Our brains are wired for negativity as a survival mechanism. Negative thoughts stick to us like Velcro, while positive ones slide off like Teflon. It’s called Negativity Bias. But survival mode is not where growth happens.

Why This Matters

Your inner dialogue shapes your reality. If you constantly tell yourself that you can’t do something, your brain will find ways to prove you right. It influences how you approach challenges, how you react to setbacks, and how much effort you put into achieving your goals.

The worst part? We often don’t even realize we’re doing it.

How to Take Control of Your Inner Voice

It’s time to change the conversation happening inside your head. Here are three powerful steps you can take:

  1. Challenge Your Thoughts:
    • When a negative thought arises, question it. Ask yourself: «Is this really true?» «Where is the evidence?»
    • More often than not, you’ll find that your thoughts are assumptions, not facts.
  2. Reframe Your Mindset:
    • Replace «I can’t» with «I’m learning.» Instead of «I’m terrible at this,» try «I’m getting better every day.»
    • Language matters. Change how you speak to yourself, and you’ll change how you feel about yourself.
  3. Take Action Despite Fear:
    • Fear is inevitable. But action breaks the cycle.
    • Break tasks into smaller steps and celebrate small wins. Progress builds confidence.

For Mentors and Coaches

If you’re mentoring or coaching others, understanding their negative self-talk is crucial. Listen carefully to the language your mentee uses. Ask powerful questions like:

  • «What story are you telling yourself that’s holding you back?»
  • «If you weren’t afraid, what would you do differently?»

You are not there to provide answers but to help them uncover their own truth and power.

Final Thoughts

The voice in your head doesn’t have to be your enemy. It can be your greatest ally if you take control of the narrative.

Listen to my latest podcast episode: «The Inner Voice Is Lying – Here’s How to Take Control» where I break down this topic and give you practical tools to shift your mindset for good.

What’s one negative thought you’ve been holding on to? How will you challenge it today?

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Mental Health at Work – Why We Need to Take This Seriously (and Why an 8-Minute Call Can Be Gold)

Welcome to today’s reality, where we run between meetings, emails, and a work culture that could make even a Duracell bunny take a break and catch its breath. October 10th marks World Mental Health Day, and this year’s focus is on mental health in the workplace. And with good reason! The working world has become a place where «balance» often feels like a theoretical state we hear about in TED Talks, not something we actually experience. So, let’s talk about what we can do—and why something as simple as calling a friend for 8 minutes might just save your day (and maybe theirs).

What Exactly Is Mental Health?

Mental health isn’t just a concept for psychology textbooks; it’s how you feel, think, and manage the daily challenges—whether they’re screaming in all caps or whispering quietly in the background. And here’s the thing: just like physical health, mental health can fluctuate day to day. Some days, you’re ready to conquer the world. Other days? It’s more like hiding under the covers and praying no one asks you anything complicated.

Mental vs. Psychological Health – Same Same, But Different?

Let’s take a minute to clear up the jargon. Mental health is about living your best day-to-day life with a healthy balance. Psychological health issues are the clinical side—when your mind says, “Houston, we have a problem.” The statistics are crystal clear: women report stress, anxiety, and depression more often than men. But hold on, says Svend Aage Madsen, an expert who points out that men aren’t handling stress any better; we just ask them the wrong questions. Spoiler alert: men struggle too, they’re just less likely to admit it.

Differences by Gender and Age

Since we’re on the topic, let’s talk about why stress looks different depending on whether you’re a 25-year-old master’s student or a 45-year-old parent with a boss complex. Young adults (think 18-29) tend to mentally collapse under the pressure of social media and “life goals” being churned out on TikTok at a pace no one can keep up with. For adults, the culprit is often the workplace’s «little contribution» to burnout. Work and personal life doing a never-ending dance where neither remembers the steps.

A Bit of Scary Statistics to Cool the Mood

• 44% of us experience loneliness to some degree. • One in five has few or no people to talk to when it really matters. • 86,000 (!) people experience serious workplace bullying every month.

When the numbers scream this loud, it’s time to listen. Ever wondered why so many people wear fake smiles during Teams meetings? This might be why.

What Can We Do? (Yes, There Is Hope!)

Okay, so we know the situation is tough. But here are a few tips that actually work, and they’re so simple you might roll your eyes:

  1. Set boundaries – Don’t be the person who says “yes” to everything just to be seen as the office hero. No one’s applauding when you’re burnt out and sulking in a corner.
  2. Create stress-relief routines – Whether it’s yoga, walks, or putting your phone on airplane mode to listen to birdsong (real or on YouTube).
  3. Seek help when you need it – There’s no shame in admitting you need to talk to someone. It’s actually pretty brave. And no, you’re not the “weird one” at work for calling a therapist.

Bonus Points for Getting a Mentor

Think mentors are reserved for international CEOs and Oprah Winfrey? Think again! A mentor can be your secret weapon for handling work pressure, developing self-awareness, and having someone to brainstorm with who doesn’t redline everything you say.

Conclusion: Call a Friend

So, here’s my challenge to you even after World Mental Health Day: call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Give them 8 minutes of your time. Not just because it’s nice, but because it could make a difference—for both of you.

Mental health isn’t just important the 10. of October; it’s important every day. So take care of yourself, set boundaries, seek support, and for the love of all things good, remember to live a little between work sessions.

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Take Care of Your Mental Health – At Work and Beyond

Mental health is one of the most important aspects of our well-being – and this applies just as much in the workplace. Unfortunately, many people struggle in silence, and the statistics speak for themselves: a full 44% of us feel lonely to some degree, and for many, it has become a challenge to find balance between work and personal life.

So, what can we do to improve our mental health at work? Here are some practical tips:

Set Boundaries
Boundaries are key to avoiding burnout. Know what you can and cannot do, and speak up when things get overwhelming. This is not just to protect yourself but also to ensure that you deliver quality in your work. It’s okay to take breaks!

Establish Stress-Relief Routines
Managing stress isn’t just about what you do when you’re already stressed, but about what you do to prevent it. Find an activity that helps you unwind – maybe yoga, a walk, or music? Having a regular routine for decompressing, especially after a long workday, can work wonders for both your physical and mental health.

Seek Help When You Need It
There’s no shame in asking for help. If things start to get overwhelming, talk to someone. It could be a friend, a colleague, or a professional. Often, putting your feelings into words is the first step towards feeling better.

And let’s not forget – having a mentor or coach can be incredibly valuable when it comes to developing self-awareness and coping strategies for handling work pressure. They’re there to support you and provide advice, whether it’s about goal setting or emotional guidance. So don’t hesitate to seek that extra support.

On this World Mental Health Day, I encourage you to take a few moments to reflect on how you can strengthen your own mental health. And maybe, once you’ve done that, you can call an old friend and give them 8 minutes of your time. You never know what difference a conversation can make.

Listen to my podcast «The talk – by Mentorguru» – in Norwegian to learn more about mental health and tools.