Kategori: Self coaching

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Personal vs. Professional Growth: Do You Have to Choose?

Finding the perfect balance between personal and professional growth is a topic that everyone seems to be obsessed with. The internet is full of advice on how to achieve «work-life balance» like it’s some magical formula that, once discovered, will solve all your problems.

But here’s the real question: Is balance really the goal? Or is it just an illusion that’s holding you back?

In this blog post, we’re going to break down:

  • Why chasing balance can be a trap
  • How to combine personal and professional growth without burning out
  • The role of holistic health in building a sustainable lifestyle
  • Practical tips for managing your time to create a more fulfilling life

The Myth of Balance – Why It Can Hold You Back

Let’s be honest: Life is not about achieving perfect balance. It’s about making constant adjustments to stay on course. Think of a tightrope walker – they’re never in perfect balance, but they keep moving forward by continuously readjusting.

🔹 According to Cal Newport, author of Deep Work, people who dive deep into focused work are far more productive and satisfied than those who try to balance everything evenly.

🔹 Research from Harvard Business Review reveals that the most satisfied individuals are not the ones with perfect balance, but those who have clear priorities and live in alignment with them.

🔹 The Flow Theory by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi shows that we’re happiest when we’re fully engaged in a meaningful task – not when we’re trying to do everything at once.

So, what’s the takeaway?

Balance might actually be stopping you from achieving real growth. Instead of constantly chasing an elusive equilibrium, it’s more productive to focus on intensity and prioritization.

How to Combine Personal and Professional Growth Without Burning Out

If balance is a myth, then what’s the alternative? The answer is strategic growth. Here are some proven strategies:

1️⃣ Growth Stacking – Maximizing Your Time

Growth Stacking is about combining different growth activities simultaneously. It’s not about doing more; it’s about doing things smarter.

Examples:

  • Listening to podcasts while working out.
  • Reflecting on your goals while drinking your morning coffee.
  • Turning casual conversations into learning opportunities.

Why it works: It saves time, increases efficiency, and accelerates progress by stacking multiple areas of growth together.

2️⃣ Non-Negotiables – Set Your Boundaries

If you don’t set boundaries, you’ll end up trying to be everything to everyone. Create clear rules for when you’re “on” and when you’re “off.”

Examples:

  • No work emails after 6 PM.
  • Keeping your mornings free from social media.
  • Setting non-negotiable blocks of time for personal projects or family.

3️⃣ The Sprint Model – Intensity Over Balance

Forget about balancing everything perfectly. Instead, focus intensely for short bursts. The Sprint Model encourages you to work in 12-week cycles with clearly defined goals.

Why it works: It creates urgency, boosts productivity, and helps you avoid burnout by alternating periods of hard work with intentional rest.

Holistic Health – Building a Foundation for Growth

You can’t build a skyscraper on a shaky foundation. Holistic health isn’t about perfection; it’s about creating a solid base for sustainable growth.

Key Areas to Focus On:

  1. Physical Health: Exercise, sleep, nutrition. It’s non-negotiable.
  2. Mental Health: Mindfulness, reflection, and digital detox.
  3. Social Health: Quality relationships over quantity.
  4. Emotional Health: Finding purpose and meaning in what you do.

Time Management Tips for a More Fulfilling Life

If you want to grow in multiple areas, you need to own your time. Here’s how:

  1. Conscious Time Management: Create weekly schedules that include blocks for work, rest, learning, and social activities.
  2. Invest in Yourself: Never stop learning. Personal growth fuels professional growth and vice versa.
  3. Set Clear Goals: What do you want to achieve over the next 12 weeks? Break it down and tackle it with laser focus.

Conclusion: Prioritization Over Balance

Balance is a nice idea, but it’s not what drives growth. Instead of striving for an unrealistic ideal, focus on intensity, priority, and strategic growth. When you stop trying to make everything even, you start making real progress.

So, here’s my challenge for you: What will you prioritize today? And how will you combine your personal and professional growth to get there?

Leave a comment below or share your thoughts on social media. I’d love to hear how you’re tackling this challenge!

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How to Take Control of Your Inner Voice – And Stop Sabotaging Yourself

We all have that voice in our head. You know the one. The voice that whispers:

  • «You’re not good enough.»
  • «You’ll never succeed.»
  • «Why even bother trying?»

But here’s the thing: That voice is lying. And the worst part? We believe it. We allow it to dictate our actions, our decisions, and ultimately, our potential.

What Is Negative Self-Talk and Limiting Beliefs?

Negative self-talk is the constant, often subconscious, stream of thoughts that undermines your confidence and abilities. It’s that automatic reaction that tells you «you can’t» before you’ve even tried.

Limiting beliefs, on the other hand, are the mental barriers we create based on fear, doubt, or past experiences. Statements like:

  • «I’m not smart enough.»
  • «I don’t have the resources to succeed.»
  • «It’s too late for me to make a change.»

These thoughts are not based on facts. They are assumptions built on fear and insecurity.

The Science Behind Negative Self-Talk

Research from the National Science Foundation reveals that 80% of our daily thoughts are negative, and 95% are repetitive. This means that if you were tearing yourself down yesterday, chances are you’re doing the exact same thing today.

Our brains are wired for negativity as a survival mechanism. Negative thoughts stick to us like Velcro, while positive ones slide off like Teflon. It’s called Negativity Bias. But survival mode is not where growth happens.

Why This Matters

Your inner dialogue shapes your reality. If you constantly tell yourself that you can’t do something, your brain will find ways to prove you right. It influences how you approach challenges, how you react to setbacks, and how much effort you put into achieving your goals.

The worst part? We often don’t even realize we’re doing it.

How to Take Control of Your Inner Voice

It’s time to change the conversation happening inside your head. Here are three powerful steps you can take:

  1. Challenge Your Thoughts:
    • When a negative thought arises, question it. Ask yourself: «Is this really true?» «Where is the evidence?»
    • More often than not, you’ll find that your thoughts are assumptions, not facts.
  2. Reframe Your Mindset:
    • Replace «I can’t» with «I’m learning.» Instead of «I’m terrible at this,» try «I’m getting better every day.»
    • Language matters. Change how you speak to yourself, and you’ll change how you feel about yourself.
  3. Take Action Despite Fear:
    • Fear is inevitable. But action breaks the cycle.
    • Break tasks into smaller steps and celebrate small wins. Progress builds confidence.

For Mentors and Coaches

If you’re mentoring or coaching others, understanding their negative self-talk is crucial. Listen carefully to the language your mentee uses. Ask powerful questions like:

  • «What story are you telling yourself that’s holding you back?»
  • «If you weren’t afraid, what would you do differently?»

You are not there to provide answers but to help them uncover their own truth and power.

Final Thoughts

The voice in your head doesn’t have to be your enemy. It can be your greatest ally if you take control of the narrative.

Listen to my latest podcast episode: «The Inner Voice Is Lying – Here’s How to Take Control» where I break down this topic and give you practical tools to shift your mindset for good.

What’s one negative thought you’ve been holding on to? How will you challenge it today?

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Competition, Charisma and Master Waiter: Mathis`s journey to the Master`s title

When we think of competitions, we often imagine sports, music, or other well-known arenas. But what about the competition to be the best server? Mathias, Norway’s champion in the field of waiting and restaurant manager at Oslo Military Society, shows us that perfection and passion can be taken to a whole new level—even in the art of service.

In our latest podcast episode, we dive into what drives Mathias to compete and excel in his job. From his first nerve-wracking competitions to building an enormous following on TikTok with over 226,000 followers, he shares how he has used social media to inspire and educate. Here is a man who doesn’t just serve food but also captivates and educates his audience with humor and professionalism.

Mathias also shares his best tips for inner motivation:

  • Set small, clear goals that give you direction.
  • Embrace your mistakes—they are the stepping stones to success.
  • Find your passion and cultivate it, even if it means spilling wine now and then.

This episode is perfect for anyone looking to learn more about personal development, handling pressure, and building a professional image without losing authenticity. Tune in to discover how Mathias has managed to combine his competitive spirit with passion and humor to create a unique career.

Call to action: Listen to the podcast her…

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Mental Health at Work – Why We Need to Take This Seriously (and Why an 8-Minute Call Can Be Gold)

Welcome to today’s reality, where we run between meetings, emails, and a work culture that could make even a Duracell bunny take a break and catch its breath. October 10th marks World Mental Health Day, and this year’s focus is on mental health in the workplace. And with good reason! The working world has become a place where «balance» often feels like a theoretical state we hear about in TED Talks, not something we actually experience. So, let’s talk about what we can do—and why something as simple as calling a friend for 8 minutes might just save your day (and maybe theirs).

What Exactly Is Mental Health?

Mental health isn’t just a concept for psychology textbooks; it’s how you feel, think, and manage the daily challenges—whether they’re screaming in all caps or whispering quietly in the background. And here’s the thing: just like physical health, mental health can fluctuate day to day. Some days, you’re ready to conquer the world. Other days? It’s more like hiding under the covers and praying no one asks you anything complicated.

Mental vs. Psychological Health – Same Same, But Different?

Let’s take a minute to clear up the jargon. Mental health is about living your best day-to-day life with a healthy balance. Psychological health issues are the clinical side—when your mind says, “Houston, we have a problem.” The statistics are crystal clear: women report stress, anxiety, and depression more often than men. But hold on, says Svend Aage Madsen, an expert who points out that men aren’t handling stress any better; we just ask them the wrong questions. Spoiler alert: men struggle too, they’re just less likely to admit it.

Differences by Gender and Age

Since we’re on the topic, let’s talk about why stress looks different depending on whether you’re a 25-year-old master’s student or a 45-year-old parent with a boss complex. Young adults (think 18-29) tend to mentally collapse under the pressure of social media and “life goals” being churned out on TikTok at a pace no one can keep up with. For adults, the culprit is often the workplace’s «little contribution» to burnout. Work and personal life doing a never-ending dance where neither remembers the steps.

A Bit of Scary Statistics to Cool the Mood

• 44% of us experience loneliness to some degree. • One in five has few or no people to talk to when it really matters. • 86,000 (!) people experience serious workplace bullying every month.

When the numbers scream this loud, it’s time to listen. Ever wondered why so many people wear fake smiles during Teams meetings? This might be why.

What Can We Do? (Yes, There Is Hope!)

Okay, so we know the situation is tough. But here are a few tips that actually work, and they’re so simple you might roll your eyes:

  1. Set boundaries – Don’t be the person who says “yes” to everything just to be seen as the office hero. No one’s applauding when you’re burnt out and sulking in a corner.
  2. Create stress-relief routines – Whether it’s yoga, walks, or putting your phone on airplane mode to listen to birdsong (real or on YouTube).
  3. Seek help when you need it – There’s no shame in admitting you need to talk to someone. It’s actually pretty brave. And no, you’re not the “weird one” at work for calling a therapist.

Bonus Points for Getting a Mentor

Think mentors are reserved for international CEOs and Oprah Winfrey? Think again! A mentor can be your secret weapon for handling work pressure, developing self-awareness, and having someone to brainstorm with who doesn’t redline everything you say.

Conclusion: Call a Friend

So, here’s my challenge to you even after World Mental Health Day: call a friend you haven’t talked to in a while. Give them 8 minutes of your time. Not just because it’s nice, but because it could make a difference—for both of you.

Mental health isn’t just important the 10. of October; it’s important every day. So take care of yourself, set boundaries, seek support, and for the love of all things good, remember to live a little between work sessions.

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Take Care of Your Mental Health – At Work and Beyond

Mental health is one of the most important aspects of our well-being – and this applies just as much in the workplace. Unfortunately, many people struggle in silence, and the statistics speak for themselves: a full 44% of us feel lonely to some degree, and for many, it has become a challenge to find balance between work and personal life.

So, what can we do to improve our mental health at work? Here are some practical tips:

Set Boundaries
Boundaries are key to avoiding burnout. Know what you can and cannot do, and speak up when things get overwhelming. This is not just to protect yourself but also to ensure that you deliver quality in your work. It’s okay to take breaks!

Establish Stress-Relief Routines
Managing stress isn’t just about what you do when you’re already stressed, but about what you do to prevent it. Find an activity that helps you unwind – maybe yoga, a walk, or music? Having a regular routine for decompressing, especially after a long workday, can work wonders for both your physical and mental health.

Seek Help When You Need It
There’s no shame in asking for help. If things start to get overwhelming, talk to someone. It could be a friend, a colleague, or a professional. Often, putting your feelings into words is the first step towards feeling better.

And let’s not forget – having a mentor or coach can be incredibly valuable when it comes to developing self-awareness and coping strategies for handling work pressure. They’re there to support you and provide advice, whether it’s about goal setting or emotional guidance. So don’t hesitate to seek that extra support.

On this World Mental Health Day, I encourage you to take a few moments to reflect on how you can strengthen your own mental health. And maybe, once you’ve done that, you can call an old friend and give them 8 minutes of your time. You never know what difference a conversation can make.

Listen to my podcast «The talk – by Mentorguru» – in Norwegian to learn more about mental health and tools.

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Knowledge Industry vs. Self-Education Industry: A Showdown (7 minutes of your life well spent)

First things first: let’s define the playing field.

The Knowledge Industry is the cool cousin in your professional family, dealing with sectors that produce, refine, and distribute the most powerful substance known to humankind: knowledge. We’re talking education, R&D, IT solutions that make your brain hurt just thinking about them, and those elite consultants who probably charge per second.

Then, there’s the Self-Education Industry. Imagine all the DIY enthusiasts but for learning—people pursuing knowledge outside traditional classrooms, armed with Wi-Fi and too much caffeine. This is the space of online courses, e-books, webinars, video tutorials, and apps. It’s like Hogwarts for grown-ups who want to learn accounting or advanced salsa from their couch.

The Good, the Bad, and the “Why Am I Doing This?” of Self-Education

The Pros:

  • Flexibility that fits around your chaotic life.
  • Customizable learning paths that don’t require a thousand-page syllabus.
  • Skills are as fresh as that “first day of school” outfit.

The Cons:

  • Quality control that sometimes makes you wonder if your instructor just Googled the syllabus.
  • The paradox of choice—too many courses make you click on Netflix instead.
  • Lack of hand-holding, which can be great until you’re metaphorically drowning in educational PDFs.

The Titans: Udemy and Coursera

Udemy is like the Walmart of online learning. Need to know how to code? Check. Want to learn underwater basket weaving? Double-check. With over 100,000 courses, there’s something for everyone, and most courses are priced in that sweet $25-$200 range. But watch out: anyone can teach, so sometimes it’s more “Steve from accounting shares Excel tips” than “Professor from MIT breaks down quantum physics.”

Coursera, on the other hand, is Udemy’s more academic, snooty sibling. Backed by universities and offering everything from certificates to degrees, Coursera boasts partnerships with over 100 Fortune 500 companies and 82 million students. The downside? It can lean more theoretical, so you might learn the art of persuasion but still not convince your dog to stop barking at 3 a.m.

Why Coaches and Mentors Should Care – “Ah, I see” moments for mentors and coaches

Now, why am I, a man who prefers deep conversations and caffeine to trends, waxing poetic about the Knowledge Industry? Because, my friends, this trend could be your ticket to a bigger impact (and, let’s be honest, a healthier bank account).

Three key benefits for coaches and mentors:

  1. Staying Updated: The Knowledge Industry is like a buffet for your brain. Want to learn the newest techniques in motivational interviewing? Need a brush-up on emotional intelligence? There’s a course (or ten) for that.
  2. Building Expertise: Specialization is the name of the game. Why not position yourself as “the coach who conquered executive coaching” or the mentor known for mindfulness workshops that leave participants Zen’d out?
  3. Monetizing Your Knowledge: Why not throw your hat into the self-education ring by developing your own course? Be the Udemy instructor you wish you’d had.

Mark Your Digital Territory

Let’s talk about social media, the necessary evil. If you’re not using it, you’re basically coaching in a void. Here’s how to stop lurking and start thriving:

Pro tips:

  • Know Your Audience: LinkedIn for the suit-and-tie crowd, Instagram for those who live on avocado toast.
  • Make Your Profile Pop: Ditch the selfie and bring on the pro headshots. No one trusts life advice from someone with an angle that screams, “My arm is my tripod.”
  • Engage, Engage, Engage: Social media is a two-way street. Reply to comments, share insights, and don’t be afraid to slide into relevant DMs (professionally, of course).

And don’t underestimate the power of video content—people love seeing a face behind the tips. It builds trust faster than a free coaching session.

The Final Countdown: Online Presence Matters (because who doesn’t want to be found?)

To wrap up, here’s why you need an online presence:

  • Visibility: The more you show up online, the more likely you’ll be found by someone who really, really needs your expertise.
  • Credibility: Sharing knowledge makes people trust you. Sharing success stories makes them want to trust you.
  • Scalability: With an online footprint, you can go from coaching 10 people a month to inspiring thousands with webinars, online courses, and e-books.

In conclusion, the Knowledge and Self-Education industries are like the Wild West, full of opportunities waiting for coaches and mentors who dare to explore. So saddle up, build that online profile, and start sharing your brilliance. Your future clients are just a course or social media post away from finding you.

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SoMe strategy plan

I have been struggling for how to reach my audience and wondering if it’s important to have as many followers as possible or what.

The first thing they all say is that you have to start by understanding who you’re audience are and optimizing your profile to appeal directly to them. Ok, but when you have private people, businesses, schools/universities it’s not that easy.

And then they say that I should have a focus on creating high-quality, consistent content and actively engage with your followers through comments and user-generated content. Well I am doing my best here…

So I did something that many recommend, I asked IA, and wow what an answer. I was kind of blown away…

In seconds I had Defind my goals and objectives, had an audience analysis, content strategy/pillar, a posting schedule, a hashtag strategy and an engagement strategy. So I promise to do it and become better, also in here in my blog.

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The Only Thing You Need is to Die – Embracing Life’s Most Morbid Truth

When it comes to old sayings, few are as jarring and straight-to-the-point as: “The only thing you need is to die.” It’s not the kind of phrase that inspires warm fuzzy feelings, but stick with me—there’s more to this dark nugget of wisdom than meets the eye. It’s existentially charged, culturally deep, and even, dare I say, oddly empowering. So, buckle up as we dive into why acknowledging this stark truth might just be the most liberating thing you do today.

Why This Phrase Packs a Punch

First off, let’s not sugarcoat it: when someone drops “The only thing you need is to die” at the dinner table, it’s a conversation stopper. But why does it hit so hard? The answer is simple: it’s true. Death is the one constant, the one guarantee in life. Everything else—your job, relationships, ambitions, anxieties—those are negotiable, mutable, and optional. Death? Non-negotiable.

At first glance, that’s terrifying. But dig a little deeper, and it’s an invitation to strip life down to its bare essentials. If the only thing we’re required to do is die, what are we doing with all the rest of our time here? We’re free to decide, and that’s where this edgy piece of wisdom starts to feel a little… hopeful.

The Philosophy Behind It: Sartre Would Be Proud

Let’s get a bit academic for a second. This phrase sits comfortably within the realm of existentialism, a philosophical school of thought championed by big-brained luminaries like Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus. Sartre would probably raise a glass of red wine and smirk at “The only thing you need is to die” because it’s a stark reminder of what he believed most passionately: life has no preordained meaning, and it’s up to us to create one.

Think about it: if death is the only certainty, then the rest of life is a vast playground of choice. Sure, it’s a playground with rusted swings and existential dread lurking behind the slide, but it’s a playground nonetheless. You can shape your life any way you want, and while that freedom is exhilarating, it’s also heavy with responsibility. Every choice you make—or don’t make—carves out what your life will mean.

So, How Do We Make Choices That Matter?

Alright, you get it: life is a blank canvas, death is inevitable, and Sartre is smirking somewhere. But what does that mean for the choices you make? The trick lies in realizing that if dying is the only real “must,” then everything else you think you have to do is just noise.

Many of us live our lives tangled in a web of perceived obligations. I have to get that promotion. I need to meet societal standards. I should settle down because everyone else is. But if death is the only true endpoint, all those other “musts” are actually choices—choices you are free to accept or reject.

When you remember that life’s only unavoidable event is its end, you can start making decisions that align more closely with what you actually want. Want to quit that high-paying job and open a llama sanctuary? Weird, but go for it. Prefer traveling the world over planting roots? Do it. The only box you absolutely must check on the to-do list of life is “be mortal”—everything else is up to you.

Death Awareness: Your New Best Friend?

Okay, so calling death awareness your “best friend” is a bit much, but humor me. There’s a psychological concept called death awareness that suggests accepting the reality of death can actually lead to a richer, more fulfilling life. When you fully acknowledge that your time here is limited, every moment becomes more precious. The small stuff (read: Karen from HR’s passive-aggressive emails) suddenly feels inconsequential, while the big stuff (meaningful connections, personal growth, inner peace) takes center stage.

Sure, living with death awareness sounds morbid. But it’s like adding salt to chocolate—it balances the flavor and makes life’s sweet moments all the richer.

Creating Meaning in a “Must-Die” World

If life comes with no preloaded meaning, it’s up to you to make your own. This realization can be daunting, but it’s also what makes life an art form. You get to experiment, screw up, pivot, and create something entirely unique.

Albert Camus, another existential heavyweight, said, “The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” If that ancient rock-roller can find purpose in endless toil, surely we can find meaning in the variety of choices we make, fueled by the knowledge that our time is finite.

Final Thoughts: Why This Morbid Truth Might Save You

So, where does this leave us? Right back at that unsettling phrase: “The only thing you need is to die.” It’s not just an invitation to be nihilistic; it’s an invitation to be free. Free to make choices that resonate with who you are, not what the world expects. Free to let go of societal scripts and choose the path that makes you feel alive.

Embrace that death is the only certainty, and use it as a compass to make your choices count. Build a life that, when you’re nearing the one and only thing you need to do, makes you smile at the strange, beautiful mess you’ve created.

And remember: if all else fails, you’re free to set up that llama sanctuary. Because why not?

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Reach your goals by coaching yourself


If you don't have a mentor or coach, but you wanted to try to coach yourself. Is it possible? Yes it is, but much harder than if you get a mentor or coach.

It may sound strange to you, but working with obstacles is often where you really get to know yourself. This is also where you find a deeper and more honest path to your goals. You can try the following exercise:

Ask yourself two questions:

1. What is stopping me from reaching my goal?

2. What am I really afraid of in relation to my goal?


Write down your answers and make a list of all your obstacles.

Note to self: 
Avoid superficial explanations such as lack of time, insight and resources.

Instead, examine whether there is anything you fear about the process of achieving the goal.

When you do this work with yourself, the answer will maybe be a form of fear that is not necessarily rooted in reality...

Photo by madison lavern on Unsplash.com