Dealing with ethical dilemmas in mentoring and coaching

For my latest episode on my podcast I argued about this topic and I started with the basic definitions.

What is ethics?

Ethics is the study of morals and principles that guide our decisions about right and wrong. I do not want to delve into the various ethical theories, and go deeper again into utilitarianism, duty ethics, deontology and virtue ethics. It is the theories that provide the framework for understanding what is ethically correct in various situations, but in the podcast I deals with various topics within mentoring and coaching and that is where the focus is.

Socrates believed that «To do well as a man, one must follow his nature», and then he goes on to say that right insight gives right action, and right action in turn makes man happy. And that is what we want right – to be happy…

I was talking about «The global code of ethics» that EMCC has created. It is not only because it was made by the association I am a member of, but because they are trying to create a standard in ethics in our industry and so far 11 other associations in our industry have signed up to use the «Code of ethics» which is developed by EMCC Global.

I think there is no need to reinvent the wheel, we must be able to work together for the best interests of the client, mentee or coachee… They therefore want to launch the global ethical guidelines The ethical rules have been developed to set standards for what clients and purchasers/companies can expect from a coach/mentor in connection with coaching/mentoring or in connection with guidance/advice. The ethical rules must be the starting point for any cooperation agreement. It says something about how we should work with clients, how our professional behavior should be and how you can have an excellent practice.

In an attempt to create some kind of conclusion at the end, ethical dilemmas are an inevitable part of the mentoring and coaching practice. Being prepared for such challenges and having a clear understanding of ethical guidelines is essential for maintaining professionalism and integrity as a mentor/coach.

Everyone in the industry should seek guidance, participate in continuous professional development and be willing to reflect on and improve their own practice in order to meet these dilemmas in an ethical way. Using your professional network is important and having such a network behind you should be important for all parties involved.

ChatGPT – Being a mentor for the first time – Part 2

Here is the rest of what ChatGPT means is important when being a mentor for the first time.

  1. Provide constructive feedback

Providing constructive feedback is an essential part of being a mentor. You should provide feedback that is specific, actionable, and relevant. Feedback should be focused on the mentee’s goals and objectives, and it should be delivered in a way that is respectful and encouraging.

  1. Share your knowledge and experience

As a mentor, you are responsible for sharing your knowledge and experience with your mentee. You should be willing to share your successes and failures, and provide advice on how to overcome challenges. You should also be willing to share any resources or contacts that may be helpful to your mentee.

  1. Be patient and supportive

Being patient and supportive is crucial to the success of any mentoring relationship. You should be patient with your mentee as they learn and grow, and be supportive of their efforts. You should also be willing to offer encouragement and praise when your mentee achieves their goals.

In conclusion, being a mentor for the first time can be a fulfilling experience, but it requires patience, dedication, and a willingness to learn. By following these tips, you can build a strong and productive mentoring relationship with your mentee, and help them to achieve their goals. Remember that being a mentor is not just about imparting knowledge, but also about building a relationship of trust, respect, and support.

In the end I will say that I did this just to check ChatGPT, but I have to say its very accurate and reliable don’t you agree?

ChatGPT – Being a mentor for the first time – Part 1

Becoming a mentor for the first time is an exciting and rewarding experience. It means you have an opportunity to share your knowledge and expertise with someone who is eager to learn from you. While mentoring can be a fulfilling experience, it can also be daunting, especially if you are unsure of how to go about it. In this article, we’ll explore some tips on how to be a successful mentor for the first time.

  1. Understand your role as a mentor

Before embarking on your journey as a mentor, it is essential to understand your role. As a mentor, you are responsible for guiding and supporting your mentee to achieve their goals. You will need to provide them with advice, feedback, and guidance to help them grow and develop. You will also need to be patient, understanding, and willing to listen to their concerns.

  1. Set clear expectations

It is essential to set clear expectations with your mentee from the outset. You should establish what you hope to achieve from the mentoring relationship, and what your mentee wants to get out of it. You should also set clear goals and objectives, and establish a timeline for achieving them. This will help to ensure that you and your mentee are working towards a common goal.

  1. Establish regular communication

Regular communication is key to a successful mentoring relationship. You should establish how often you will meet or communicate with your mentee and stick to this schedule. Regular communication will help you to track progress, provide feedback, and address any issues that may arise.

  1. Be a good listener

One of the most important qualities of a successful mentor is being a good listener. You need to be willing to listen to your mentee’s concerns, questions, and ideas. You should also be willing to give them your undivided attention and provide feedback that is constructive and helpful.

See the rest in the next post…

ChatGPT – Why should I be a mentor

When I printed the question «Why should I be a mentor»? in a ChatGPT page I got this 5 reasons:

Being a mentor can bring numerous benefits, such as:

  1. Personal and professional growth
  2. Opportunities to share knowledge and experience
  3. Giving back to the community
  4. Improving leadership skills
  5. Building relationships and network.

Quite accurate isnt it?

The Significance of Ethics in Mentoring and Coaching – Part 1

Introduction

Mentoring and coaching are powerful tools for personal and professional development. They offer individuals the opportunity to learn from experienced mentors and coaches, helping them grow and achieve their goals. However, the effectiveness of mentoring and coaching is greatly enhanced when they are conducted with a strong ethical foundation. In these two articles, we will explore why ethics is important in mentoring and coaching and how it contributes to the success of these relationships.

  1. Trust and Confidentiality

Ethics plays a fundamental role in establishing and maintaining trust in mentoring and coaching relationships. Trust is the cornerstone of any successful mentoring or coaching partnership. When individuals seek guidance and support from mentors or coaches, they must feel safe and confident that their personal and professional information will be treated with the utmost confidentiality.

Ethical guidelines dictate that mentors and coaches must respect the confidentiality of their mentees or clients. This ensures that mentees can open up about their challenges, fears, and aspirations without fear of judgment or disclosure. Trust forms the foundation of a productive and transformative mentoring or coaching relationship.

  1. Respect and Non-discrimination

Ethics in mentoring and coaching also emphasize the importance of respect and non-discrimination. Every individual is unique, with their own values, beliefs, and experiences. Ethical mentors and coaches recognize and respect these differences, creating a space that is inclusive and non-judgmental.

Respecting the diversity of mentees or clients helps build a supportive and nurturing environment where they feel valued and understood. This, in turn, fosters a more open and constructive exchange of ideas and insights, ultimately leading to greater personal and professional growth.

Remember to read my next post as well to get the rest of why ethics is important.

Leadership When It Matters Most: Should Mentoring Be a Part of the Equation? – Part 2

As written in the last post leadership is a critical component of any organization’s success, and it is never more apparent than in times of crisis or when important decisions need to be made. 

Examples of Effective Leadership and Mentoring

Several real-world examples illustrate the positive impact of mentoring in leadership during critical moments:

  1. Nelson Mandela: Mandela’s leadership during South Africa’s transition from apartheid to democracy is often lauded. He leaned on the wisdom of his mentors, including Oliver Tambo and Walter Sisulu, who helped shape his leadership style and approach to reconciliation.
  2. Steve Jobs: While leading Apple through periods of innovation and turbulence, Jobs provided mentorship to key executives like Tim Cook, shaping the future of the company even in his absence.
  3. Winston Churchill: Churchill’s mentorship of key figures in his wartime government, such as Anthony Eden, played a pivotal role in the United Kingdom’s success during World War II.

In times of crisis and when important decisions loom, effective leadership is crucial for an organization’s survival and success. However, leadership is not a solitary endeavor; it is enriched by the inclusion of mentoring. Mentoring can provide invaluable support, knowledge transfer, and skill development for leaders when they need it most.

Leaders who prioritize mentoring during critical moments not only benefit themselves but also contribute to the growth and development of future leaders. As the saying goes, «Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.» By incorporating mentoring into their leadership practices, leaders can better fulfill this essential role, ensuring that they and their teams successfully navigate the challenges that come their way.

How to ask someone to be your mentor

Mentorship has a big impact on workplace wellness and productivity. Nine in 10 workers, 91%, who have a career mentor say they are happy in their jobs (https://www.cnbc.com/2019/07/16/nine-in-10-workers-who-have-a-mentor-say-they-are-happy-in-their-jobs.html ).
In contrast, four out of 10 professionals who don’t have a mentor have considered quitting in the last quarter.

«The benefits of mentorship are clear, so why doesn’t everyone have a mentor? Companies often create mentorship programs, but individuals may be left to choose for themselves whether they want to participate. And simply being assigned a mentor likely isn’t enough to foster a real difference in happiness at work via any of the measures noted above». Source CNBC.

It is important that the potential mentee get to choose to be in a mentoring program, because you have to get all in…

Try your best to be IN a mentoring program, get your company to start one if they don’t have one yet.

But after trying to get a mentoring program within your company, you still are on your own. Relax, here is the dos and don’ts. The source is GetSmarter.

What if someone else is in charge?

Sometimes you realise that someone else is in charge of your mentee, it can be your boss, wife/husband, friends or family.
When you confront your mentee you have two different possibilities: He or she admits it or they don´t. In either way you as a mentor has a problem.

The best way is to invite the other part to a combined meeting. Then tell or she about the privilege to be a mentee and be in that spotlight, and that the reflection is the most important tool in these sessions. And if someone else correct the mentee after a meeting, everything is destroyed…

They have to step back or the sessions are for no good.

How to get most of your mentor

It’s a good question and I’m sure everyone already figured out that I am a huge believer in the value of mentors. So I have three simple tip.

  1. Be sure to get the right mentor. Before you find a mentor take the time to find out why you want a mentor and what you think the mentor can do for you.
  2. Have a clear overview over who you are. I like to use SWOT-analyzes from the businessworld, Your strength, your weaknesses, your potential/opportunities and in the end what can stop you for getting to your goals.
  3. Be prepared and joine your mentor in the dance (dancing in the moment). Be prepared for every meeting and try to answer and reflect on everything your mentor asks you.

Is someone having others?

Being a good coach is it the same as being a non-directive coach?

In my mentoring sessions I some time feel that giving advice or almost instructive, is the right way to go, but other feels that is wrong. And for coaching is also the same, when you are talking about directive and non-directive coaching.

Coach training programmes usually focus strongly on teaching the skills of non-directive coaching. This is a sensible approach, since people new to coaching and the helping professions typically see helping others as consisting of telling them what to do differently (or suggesting or advising, etc). Breaking this habit is difficult and so a relentless focus on helping the novice coach shift their attention away from telling the coachee what to do, to helping the coach learn how to surface and explore the coachee’s resources and resourcefulness is vital. The moment of breakthrough to non-directive coaching is a delight to observe and is signalled by the coach’s realisation that it is the coachee, not the coach, who has to do the hard work of discovering how to change! Indeed, one of the most reliable signs that a coach has «lost it» in a session is the feeling of trying hard!

Mike the mentor had a post on the subject some time back, here is the article, read it and make up your own mind.