Dance in the moment

I have posted some posts now about powerful questions, but it is also important to that good questions are one thing. But what if you use your time with the mentee to prepare the next questions and not listen properly to what your mentee is saying?

A great coach taught at a University and their Coaching Certificate for many years and he found that students were ever eager for the right «powerful question.» It became a mild obsession among some of them to have just the right, the perfect, the well phrased question that would tip a coaching conversation to depth and value. And he too had long sought those powerful questions – and still do.

Over time he began to notice that some of these emerging coaches were missing whole chunks of critical dialogue – they were talking past treasured clues that the clients were freely giving up. But they had great questions!

He began challenging the coaches to forget their «powerful questions,» to risk asking stupid questions or, when right, to ask nothing at all and remain still in silent expectation.

There are times when focusing on the best question distracts us from attending to the wealth of data being provided in the coaching interaction. Of course there are terrific questions to prompt the coaching dialogue – dozens have been listed. His greatest task is to be curious – to make efforts to be present to the exchange. When he pull that off he find that the questions he was seeking are inherent in the conversation, He do not require to remember or think of a question.

I was also like the students who wanted to have all the powerful questions ready for every mentee/mentor session. But what happened, well I could´t use them because the mentee respond differently than I had thought of. But after more experience I find myself starting to go with the flow, or dancing in the moment…