Do you live or do you survive?

Many of us feel that we use our valuable life energy to survive our life instead of living it.

It is one of the things that I most often encountered among people I mentor. Many feel that they have created a life or has «drifted into a life» that they do not know if they want, and they certainly are quite sure that they do not have the energy to maintain. Simply because they are too busy.

The whole life is for many almost become a kind of project to be «done» and «get over». Many of us think sometimes: Is it really what it’s all about?

Many are living the beautiful life, or it seems that way, a life where you actually are not that satisfied with. Maybe they have an exciting job, a big house, beautiful children and a lovely partner. It looks good from the outside, but inside they are seeking and can not find out what really is wrong.

We forget, in other words, how lucky we really are.

So my advice to you is to stop and ask yourself:

Are you able to enjoy your life with an open heart, and you are fully present every day?

Or do you let life and all its opportunities slip by because you care about the past, planning the future and never really in the moment?

Easter is coming up and it is a perfect time to stop and reflect on this matter.

Happy easter!

CONFERENCE: PROFESSIONAL CONVERSATIONS | EVIDENCE BASED COACHING AND MENTORING

EMCC Nordic conference 21.-22. Sept 2015 in Oslo

The event is managed by EMCC Norway with the support of EMCC in Denmark, Finland and Sweden: plus the Swedish Coaching Psychologists Group (Coachande Psykologer).

The program is geared towards practitioners (incl. psychologists) who are committed to evidence based practices and actively involved in mentoring and/or coaching. Our goal is to create an event with round tables and plenty of room for networking combined with state of the art presentations and discussions. We want an exclusive event but a fair price, therefore we have chosen a venue limited to 100 participants. We also expect the event to fill up quickly.

Fill in the form to get the conference flyer plus exclusive, early access to registration – this could in fact become your only chance to get on board.

When on the list we will keep you updated about the conference, speakers, networking opportunities, interest groups and bonuses. You shouldn’t hesitate – this is a rare opportunity to meet interesting colleagues from across the Nordic countries.

Confirmed speakers cover both mentoring, coaching and coaching psychology: Prof. David Clutterbuck (UK), Prof. Reinhard Stelter (Denmark), Prof. TK Lang (Norway), Dr Kristina Gyllensten (Sweden), Po Lindvall (Sweden, EMCC VP Research), Jennybeth Ekeland (Mentoring program manager, NHH AFF) and Dr Paul O Olson (Pres. EMCC Norway).

As said above, the venue is limited to 100 participants and we expect to fill the room early. Avoid missing out and register her

Executive coaches help CEOs perform and survive

An article from Ray Williams in Financial Post

The job of a chief executive has never been more challenging or rewarding. Despite generous compensation, perks and attention it can be a lonely one. Which may be why boards and chief executives are increasingly turning to executive coaches to assist the heads of companies in their performance and growth and reduce attrition.

While earlier generations managed without coaches, leaders today face more pressures than at any other time. They must deal with rapidly changing markets, technologies and workforces, increased financial and legal scrutiny … and more. Top executives who feel that they can handle it by themselves are more likely to burn out, and make poor or no decisions, resulting in significant loss of opportunities, human resources and financial resources.

The CEO’s job is unique from several perspectives: No one else needs to hear the truth more, yet gets it less from employees; no one else is the focus of criticism when things go wrong; no one else is the final decision maker on difficult and often lose-lose decisions; and no one else enjoys the same type of hero-celebrity status and rewards.

According to the Harvard Business Review, two of every five new chief executives fail in their first 18 months on the job. And it appears the main reason for failure has nothing to do with competence, knowledge, or experience, but rather with hubris, ego and a leadership style out of touch with today.

Sydney Finkelstein, author of Why Smart Executives Fail, researched several spectacular failures during a six-year period. He concluded that these chief executives had similar deadly habits chiefly related to unchecked egos. David Dotlich and Peter C. Cairo, in their book, Why CEOs Fail: The 11 Behaviors That Can Derail Your Climb To The Top And How To Manage Them, present 11 cogent reasons why leaders fail, most of which have to do with hubris, ego and a lack of emotional intelligence. Call it overconfidence or ego, but powerful and successful leaders often distrust or feel they don’t need advice.

A study by Kelly See, Elizabeth Wolfe Morrison, and Naomi Rothman, published in Organizational Behavior and Human Decision, concluded one characteristic of powerful and successful leaders is high levels of self-confidence. Unfortunately, the researchers say, the higher the self-confidence, the less likely these leaders are open to advice and feedback. They also note that powerful leaders seldom get useful feedback at their organizations. See and her colleagues contend that the enormous stress leaders are under often produce anxiety, fear and physical illness, which strong leaders are hesitant to divulge over concern judgments may be made about their capacities.

One reason for this leadership crisis may be the gaps between how leaders see themselves and how others see them. Call it self-awareness. These blind spots can be career limiting. The wider the gap, the more resistance to change. It also makes it difficult to create a positive organizational culture where openness and honesty are encouraged.

Paul Michelman, writing in the Harvard Business Review Working Knowledge, says most major companies now make coaching a core of their executive development programs. The belief is one-on-one personal interaction with an objective third party can provide a focus other forms of organizational support cannot. A 2004 study by Right Management Consultants found 86% of companies used coaches in their leadership development program.

Marshall Goldsmith, a high-profile coach to leaders in Fortune 500 companies and author of The Leader of the Future, argues leaders need coaches when “they feel that a change in behaviour — either for themselves or their team members — can make a significant difference in the long-term success of the organization.”

Eric Schmidt, chairman and chief executive of Google, said his best advice to new CEOs is to have a coach“Once I realized I could trust him [the coach] and that he could help me with perspective, I decided this was a great idea…” he said. While he admits the cost of executive coaches, particularly a good one, is not cheap, he adds “compared to the decisions CEOs make, money is not the issue.”

“If you have a new perspective, if you feel better with your team, the board and the marketplace, then you have received real value,” Schmidt says.

Executives who rise to the C-suite do so largely based upon their ability to consistently make sound decisions. However while it may take years of solid decision-making to reach the boardroom it often times takes one bad decision to fall from the ivory tower. The reality is that in today’s competitive business world an executive is only as good as his/her last decision, or their ability to stay ahead of contemporaries and competitors,” Mike Myatt writes in an article, The Benefits of a Top CEO Coach.

Despite its popularity, many senior executives are reluctant to report they have a coach, says Jonathan Schwartz, former president and chief executive of Sun Microsystems, who had an executive coach.

While board members can be helpful, most leaders shy away from talking to the board about their deepest uncertainties, argues John Kador, in CEO Magazine. Other CEOs can lend an ear, but there are barriers to complete honesty and trust. “No one in the organization needs an honest, close and long-term relationship with a trusted advisor more than a CEO,” writes Kador, who reports conversations with several high-profile CEOs.

The much asked question about coaching is its return on investment. The majority of studies including one by Joy McGovern and her colleagues at  research firm Manchester, indicate that executives who received coaching valued the service between $100,000 and $1-million. Joyce Russell, the Dean of the Robert H. Smith School of Business at the University of Maryland contends that assigning a coach to an executive is nowviewed as a privilege and a sign the organization values the executive’s contributions and is willing to invest money in his or her growth and development.

In my Financial Post articles, Top Dogs are Lonely,The Second Fastest Growing Profession and The Seven Deadly Habits of CEOs, I outlined what is now common practice for chief executives — hiring a personal executive coach — and how it helps them perform better. Professional executive coaches can help leaders improve performance, reduce or eliminate their blind spots and be open to constructive feedback, not only reducing the likelihood of failure, and premature burnout but also providing an atmosphere in which the executive can express fears, failures and dreams.

Ray Williams is President of Ray Williams Associates, a company based in Vancouver providing leadership training and executive coaching services. He can be reached at ray@raywilliamsassociates.com

Can coaching kick-start your career?

This is an never-ending story, can it or can it not? In my mind a coach can really kick start your career end of story. I can come with a lot of example, but I will let you read an article by Susanne Gargiulo that she wrote for CNN.

Bill Clinton had a coach, Oprah Winfrey used one to help her get to the top of her career and, of course, top sports stars have them.

But the chances are you might have one, too, as according to a recent study by the Institute of Leadership and Management (ILM), coaches in the office are becoming almost common place.

In the survey of 250 UK companies, 80% said they were using or had used coaching, and another 9% were planning to do so. «We were surprised that it was so widespread,» says David Pardey, of ILM, «particularly because we did the survey in the middle of a recession.»

A 2009 study by the Chartered Institute of Personnel Development confirmed that even during the economic downturn coaching remained buoyant; 7 out 10 companies surveyed reported increasing or maintaining their commitment to coaching.

According to Pardey, coaching is a tool that enables people to perform to their full capability. «It’s the difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it in practice,» he says. 

«So from an organizational point of view it can maximize your potential and take you from average to excellent. If everyone in the company were performing as the best person, the difference would be extraordinary.»

For individuals like David Fitzgerald, executive vice president and partner at CB Richard Ellis New England, coaching elevates his game. «I like to win, and coaching helps me to win even more,» he says.

Coaching has been finding favor among companies for over a decade, according to Ginger Jenks, an executive coach, founder and president of Magellan Enterprises in Colorado.

«Five years ago, coaching was in about 75 countries, now it is in about 110,» says Jenks who is certified with the International Coach Federation, where she has also served on the board.

Jenks believes that coaching is going where music and sports have always been.

«If you want to get to the top, you need a coach. In the past, I was a leader’s secret weapon. Now, a coach is accepted as a must-have for people in the top of their field,» says Jenks.

The reason for its growing popularity could be its win-win effect. The ILM study found that 95% of companies who used coaching said it has benefited the individual as well as the organization.

There are a couple of hitches, however. One is assuring that a coach is fully qualified and a current lack of standardization means anyone can call themselves a coach. The second is cost. Coaching is not inexpensive, but that is a fact experts believe is pushing another growing trend in the industry; companies training and keeping their own coaches on staff.

«This is where we are seeing the real growth happening in terms of business coaching,» says Suzanna Prout, managing director of Xenonex Limited, an executive coaching and leadership development company.

Pardey agrees: «If you train people, it will pay off year after year, and then you have people working continuously to help others perform better. It will be a significant feature of successful organizations.»

That is what happened at Doncaster College in the UK, where principal and CEO George Trow, says coaching and management development has transformed the school from a poorly functioning one to a success story.

«When I came here, the college had had seven principals in five years,» says Trow, adding that both the student and financial performance of the school were inadequate.

To turn things around, Trow put 70 managers through a coaching program and trained ten internal managers as coaches. He wanted to install a coaching culture and this made the program financially sustainable.

Almost three years after the introduction of the coaching program, Trow says the student success rate has increased dramatically and the school is in a healthy financial state.

«What has happened is that we are seeing a more effective performance from people, better conflict resolution, better communication, and we have been able to deal with a lot of thorny issues that had been parked for a while,» he says.

According to Prout, what coaching does is help show «an organization’s blind spots.»

«It is about having that discipline to be asking yourself the tough, challenging and open questions that people often have a tough time asking themselves,» she says.

Why Small Businesses Need Coaching

By Elizabeth Blackwell

She has written the article in «TheStreet» is a leading digital financial media company whose network of digital services provides users, subscribers and advertisers with a variety of content and tools through a range of online, social media, tablet and mobile channels. Our mission is to provide the most actionable ideas from the world of investing, finance and business in order to break down information barriers, level the playing field and help all individuals and organizations grow their wealth.

In sports, coaching advice isn’t limited to the superstars. Everyone on the team gets the benefit of a coach’s leadership and constructive criticism.

In business, it can seem like coaching is reserved for the favored few: leaders-in-training who want to leap a few rungs up the corporate ladder. But the coaching process may be most valuable for those who aren’t on a team, meaning small-business owners and entrepreneurs who have no workplace peers to turn to for advice.

While coaching has gained recognition over the past decade or so, there’s still confusion as to what exactly an executive coach does. So it’s worth clarifying first what effective coaching is not. It’s not psychotherapy — a coach should not be asked to guide you through personal problems or dole out relationship advice.

Neither is coaching a form of consulting. Hire a consultant and you’re paying someone to come into your organization, assess problems and tell you what to do. A coach is a facilitator, not a commander. His or her job is to help you analyze problems and find solutions for yourself.

Beyond that basic framework, however, coaching is a diverse field, with various approaches that appeal to different personality types. Just as in any other personal relationship, you’ve got to find a coach you click with, and that might mean meeting with a number of different people until you find The One.

«A coach is an ally,» says Ed Modell, incoming president of the International Coach Federation, which runs a rigorous credentialing program. «You should be able to share your worst fears and biggest goals. Then, the coach should co-create the solutions that work best for you.»

Most coaches charge by the hour rather than working on retainer; in general, you can expect to pay between $150 and $500 an hour. Modell recommends at least one in-person meeting to make sure you’re comfortable with each other, saying «You have to create a trust environment.» But once that’s been established, phone meetings are just as effective — and an easier commitment for busy business owners.

Another approach to consider is group coaching. It means giving up the one-on-one focus of an individual coach, but also builds peer relationships with business owners facing similar challenges. The best-known such program is Strategic Coach, which runs workshops exclusively for entrepreneurs.

«Most entrepreneurs are natural innovators or salespeople, not managers,» says Catherine Nomura, Strategic Coach’s director of business development. «They come to us because dealing with the day-to-day complexities of their business has made it difficult to move ahead. They don’t have time to do what they love to do.»

Business owners sign up for a year of coaching, which includes quarterly, daylong workshops and access to an adviser for follow-up help in between. Participants are grouped according to the size of their company (at a minimum, you must have been in business for at least three years and have a net personal income of $100,000). The coaches running the workshops are business owners who have been through the program themselves.

«It’s a peer group of people who understand what you’re going through,» Nomura says. To build accountability, business owners leave each workshop with specific goals and steps to take before the next quarterly meeting.

Once you’ve decided on the type of coaching that best fits your needs and personality, finding a coach takes the same research and persistence as finding any other trustworthy professional partner. The International Coach Federation website has a referral service for certified coaches; you can also find coaches with business experience through local MBA programs or professional organizations.

Once you’ve found a coach who’s a good fit, the rest is up to you. «If you’re going to hire a coach, you want to use the time wisely,» Modell says. «Be prepared to open up.» A great coach can motivate players to win, but only if they’re willing to put in the work it takes to get there.

Happy Happy Christmas

I wish you all a merry merry christmas and a happy new year. 2014 was my 6`th year with blogging and I have more and more people following me each year, THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING ME.

I will spend my christmas with family and good friends, and also reflect over the year, and start planning for 2015.

Here are the list of of christmas songs (from 2013)

Top 40 Christmas Songs Of All Time

Are You Afraid to Set Goals for 2015 – here is why

Joy is one of hardest feelings to hold onto, isn’t it? Fear is always crouching nearby ready to snatch it from us.

In Daring Greatly Brené Brown talks about “foreboding joy,” the idea that some sort of disaster looms just around the corner no matter how promising things look for the moment. Instead of experiencing joy, even when things are going well, we feel worry, fear, and dread.

I think this reality is especially problematic when it comes to setting goals for the future. We’re afraid—afraid we’ll fail or that others will fail us. It’s safer not to get our hopes up.

The end result is that we’re rarely disappointed. But at what cost? Brown’s research would say that the cost is joy, happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, and a wholehearted life.

Is that true for you? It’s sometimes true for me. I can’t count the number of times I’ve let worry and dread steal my joy.

What if You Could Kick Fear to the Curb?

Whenever I let fear do the talking, hope always loses the argument. But what if we could gag our fears long enough to dream, and then a little longer to turn those dreams into actionable goals that might actually change our lives for the better?

Think about your family, your finances, your health, your career, or that dream you locked away months or even years ago because it felt too remote, too impossible. What could happen if you could build a plan, starting right now, that was proven to move the needle in the areas of your life that matter most?

Here’s what I know from years of coaching others and my own personal experience: The key reason most of us feel this sense of fear when it comes to goal-setting is that we’ve tried before and failed.

But here’s something else I know: It’s not your fault. It’s the fault of a faulty system. The truth is that traditional New Year’s resolutions and goal setting don’t really work.

5 Days to Your Best Year Ever

That’s why I’ve created 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever, a proven and powerful goal-setting process that helps you kick fear to the curb, reconnect with your dreams, and finally realize your potential.

And it does a lot more, too. In 5 Days To Your Best Year Ever I reveal how to:

  • Get crystal clear about what you want in the next twelve months and how you’re going to get there.
  • Confront doubt and see the real possibility of breakthrough in your personal and professional life.
  • Close the door on the nagging, negative feelings from the past so you can set yourself up for success in the present.
  • Take the mystery out of setting effective, reasonable, and achievable goals.
  • Connect with your why so you can tap reserves of emotional energy and motivation when things get difficult and conquer the “messy middle” once and for all.
  • Finally beat worry, procrastination, and that horrible feeling we all experience of being overwhelmed or simply not enough.

– Michael Hyatt

In the next article I will show you Michael Hyatt`s plan you can use for 2015.

Communication is not rocket science

It`s possible to learn for everyone, It requires that you take responsibility. For yourself and your communication. 

The only one who can change anything is you.

Maybe we have all witness the security at an airport. Last time I was on an airport i witness a gentleman in front of me put his bags and things up at the Conveyor belt and is doing his best to make it quickly and efficiently. 

He forgets to take his belt off, and the security man told him in a direct and commanding tone, to take it off. While taking the belt of he said «Excuse me put it`s actually possible to tell me nice, I just forgot». The security guy almost shout «Just move it».

I don´t think anyone appreciate that tone, neither the gentleman, the security guy or the rest of the people in line…

This story and this type of communication is done daily, maybe once an hour, if not more often, in workplaces, in teams, to customers and among colleagues.

And if you think it is normal, then you’re right. But unfortunately it is also one of the most energy-draining, devastating and in many ways incredibly sad.

For it is really how we want to be?
Is this how we want it, and interact with other people?
What this leads to in the short and long term?

The older I get and the more mature as a person, the more evil it makes me to see and hear that we still treat each other like this and is directly co-creators of bad energy. And the worst of it all is that it is fairly easy to solve. 

It requires that you take responsibility, for yourself and your communication.

The only one who can change anything is you.