I had a good discussion with a coach from Erickson College (http://erickson.edu/) and we disagree on something which is very important for me. Feedback…
At Erickson College they learn that as a coach you should never give feedback – because it will lead the coach to do the same next time.
For me this is so very wrong for what I am thinking and doing as a mentor. I have feedback as one of the five tools to use as a mentor. But of course you have to be careful and discuss more about the feedback and what to bring further.
For my friend, the Erickson College coach, that wasn´t any better, but he understood what I meant . And that is a reminder that there are different methods and possibilities.
And as a mentor or coach is it important to think this trough, and find out what you would do and what suits you as a mentor or coach. There is nothing wrong about feedback, the mentee or coach is the main person her not the tool. Remember that…
Maybe the question is not whether to give feedback or not but HOW to do it. While mentoring might focus on more direct feedback communication, coaching techniques (at least those I have learned) are more about helping a person coming to insight on their own on what could be improved by asking the right questions. As you say it is the coachees/mentees perspective that counts hence feedback should also be in their perspective with respect to their values and goals.
I agree Carolina, it´s how to give feedback. I also agree that mentoring focusing on giving more direct feedback but they also help the person to come to insight on their own.