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How do I plan for 2013

Going from 2012 to 2013 got me to think about Confucius when he talked to his student about planning.

The student: Where do you think I should go?

Confucius:It depends on where you wanna go

The student: It doesn´t matter that much

Confucius: Then it doesn´t matter where you go

It´s a good story about planning and I am sitting and planning my 2013, wanna know where I want to go. First of all I think it is important to know where you come from and what you have in your baggage. Therefor i use «The wheel of life».

This one I found here

 

This is my platform, this is where I come from. I find myself between 1 and 10, and even if it´s only 3, that is my baggage. I have to start from there…

I then start by brainstorming the 8 dimensions of my life that is important for me. When you do the same you can put in and take out which dimensions that are important for you.

My dimensions are: Business/Career – Finances – Health – Family and friends – Romance/My marriage – Personal growth – Fun and recreation – Physical Environment.

I will then have identified all the dimensions and I will find areas that need attention, meaning below 7. I will then find actions needed to work on regaining balance and there is where most of my goals for 2013 are.

F.ex. if I don´t spend enough time with my friends one of my goals for this year would be to find more time to meet my friends. And on Business/Career I put in my two big projects for 2013. Then I take f.ex. one of the projects and set up goals on short and long terms.

 

This is one way to do it, earlier I wrote about a Life Plan, thats also a very good way to do it. I guess the most important here is that you actually do it, planning there is…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How do You find a mentor

 

I read a lot on the internett and have a lot of RSS about mentoring, a lot of things is a repeat from others, but some of it is new thoughts.

In december 2013 I received an email from Michael Hyatt and he is an interesting original thinker about leadership, and he was explaining about finding a mentor. Not only in writing but also in a podcast.

I am a huge fan of other peoples opinion and therefor I want to post it here, not the whole article, but highlights.

He starts the post like this: To be brutally honest, your chances of finding a mentor are slim and none.

I don´t agree of that, but he raise an interesting point in the next. When he says that the problem is the narrow definition of mentorship.

He the comes with four levels of mentoring:

  1. Virtual Mentoring: Read blogs and books, listen to podcasts, and take online courses.
  2. Group Mentoring: Go to live conferences, join membership sites, or participate in group coaching.
  3. Peer Mentoring: Find like-minded peers and be intentional about forming friendships with them. You can also join a mastermind groups.
  4. Personal Mentoring: Invest in a coach or find a volunteer mentor.

Further I love his last sentences in the blogpost:

Even if you eventually find a mentor (according to the traditional definition), you’re cheating yourself by not doing what you can now to learn and grow.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have—a one-on-one, traditional mentoring relationship—focus on what you do have: more opportunities than ever before in history to learn and grow. If you simply expand your definition, you will find mentoring opportunities everywhere.

I could´t said it in a better way. Go and read the blogpost here

 

Michael Hyatt is the author of Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World (Thomas Nelson). It is a New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestseller. Recently, Forbes magazine named me one of the Top 50 Social Media Influencers of 2013.

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9 Beliefs You Need to Succeed at Anything

I have a new fantastic tool, named Zite, and its a RSS tool. It is a great tool for me to keep track on what’s on the Internet in my field. So her is one of the articles about personal development and that the mindset is maybe the most important for success.

The foundation of success is not a set of achievements or a combination of external factors; it is a mindset. Success is an attitude that comes from a framework of powerful beliefs and empowering thoughts. Because what you think and believe about your life largely determines how you feel (your attitude), what actions you take (your behavior), and what you achieve (the end result.)

I’m fortunate enough to know a number of remarkably successful people. Regardless of their profession or life passions, I’ve noticed they all share nine common beliefs.

And they act on these beliefs every day:

Reminder: We just released our new ebook 1,000+ Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently. It makes a perfect starter kit for the new year. Click here to find out more.

1. “The problems I face are opportunities.”
The problems and challenges you face are not there to stop you. Their purpose is to bring your commitment to the surface where it can come wholly and forcefully to life.

The challenges that are the most difficult are often the ones that create the greatest positive difference. Situations with the most formidable problems are where you unearth your greatest opportunities.

The only question is: Are you willing to do what it takes? Read Think and Grow Rich.

2. “What’s important is creating value.”
Do something you are proud of. Instead of struggling to get one up on everyone else, raise your awareness to the point where the competition becomes insignificant. Get in the habit of creating real value, and you won’t feel the need to take anything away from others.

To be truly effective be sincere and helpful. Find satisfaction and fulfillment in making a difference and pulling all of life forward with you.

3. “I can’t anticipate everything, and that’s okay.”
There’s a difference between being prepared and being scared.

There’s much you can gain by planning and preparing, by anticipating what is most likely to happen and being ready for it. Yet there is no reason to be paralyzed by over-thinking and endless worry, because you have what it takes to handle even the most unexpected setbacks.

And no matter how well you plan, not everything can be anticipated anyway, and that’s actually a good thing. Sometimes when a roadblock forces you in a different direction, you cross paths with the opportunity of a lifetime.

4. “My fears are often an indication that something is worth doing.”
Do not to be afraid of your fears. Your fears are not here to scare you; they’re here to let you know that something you’re thinking about and considering is worth doing.

If you always feel afraid, it means that there are lots of things worth doing – lots of worthy options called opportunities. It’s time to pick one and take a chance.

5. “Passions and goals must be self-set.”
Just because someone tells you that you can’t do something doesn’t mean you have to let their opinion become your reality. If you spend too much time reacting and responding to everyone else, you will lose YOUR direction in life. These other people’s opinions, problems and wants will end up setting the course for your life.

So take a stand right now and say this to yourself out loud: “It is OK for me to think about and identify what I want for myself.” If you live by this statement, remarkable things will take place in your life.

6. “My time is sacred.”
Maybe you can afford to procrastinate. Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow. Maybe for you there’s a thousand tomorrows, or ten thousand, or more. Maybe you have so much time ahead of you that you can afford to spend it frivolously and foolishly without losing sleep. There’s a whole lifetime worth of minutes you can waste. Maybe…

But maybe not. For some of us – perhaps for you or someone you love – there’s only today. And the truth is, you never really know. Read Eat That Frog!

7. “Positive results are the outcome of positive daily actions.”
Your real religion is how you spend the majority of your time – what you do and think about on and daily basis long after the sermon has ended. Do something that makes you proud. Start walking the talk. Make your strategic plan: DOING THINGS THAT MATTER!

You don’t need a new year to make a change; all you need is today. Make this the moment you start changing your life.

8. “Perfection is a fantasy.”
Understanding the difference between healthy striving and striving for perfection is critical to laying down unnecessary weight and picking up your life. Perfectionism hampers happiness and success. It’s the path to depression, anxiety, addiction and life paralysis.

And this is true for your relationships as well…

Judge less, love more. Flaws are features. You don’t know a single perfect person, they don’t exist. Who you do know are a bunch of flawed people who are still worth appreciating and loving. If you try to avoid people for their little idiosyncrasies and shortcomings, this world will be a lonely place for you. Read Personal Development for Smart People.

9. “I am 100% responsible for my life.”
It’s easy to blame someone else for your troubles, but it doesn’t resolve anything. Sure, at first it might seem reasonable to expect your problems to be solved by those who helped create them, but stop and think about it. Do you want to give the people who created past problems for you any additional control over your future?

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Dance in the moment

I have posted some posts now about powerful questions, but it is also important to that good questions are one thing. But what if you use your time with the mentee to prepare the next questions and not listen properly to what your mentee is saying?

A great coach taught at a University and their Coaching Certificate for many years and he found that students were ever eager for the right «powerful question.» It became a mild obsession among some of them to have just the right, the perfect, the well phrased question that would tip a coaching conversation to depth and value. And he too had long sought those powerful questions – and still do.

Over time he began to notice that some of these emerging coaches were missing whole chunks of critical dialogue – they were talking past treasured clues that the clients were freely giving up. But they had great questions!

He began challenging the coaches to forget their «powerful questions,» to risk asking stupid questions or, when right, to ask nothing at all and remain still in silent expectation.

There are times when focusing on the best question distracts us from attending to the wealth of data being provided in the coaching interaction. Of course there are terrific questions to prompt the coaching dialogue – dozens have been listed. His greatest task is to be curious – to make efforts to be present to the exchange. When he pull that off he find that the questions he was seeking are inherent in the conversation, He do not require to remember or think of a question.

I was also like the students who wanted to have all the powerful questions ready for every mentee/mentor session. But what happened, well I could´t use them because the mentee respond differently than I had thought of. But after more experience I find myself starting to go with the flow, or dancing in the moment…

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10 steps to programming your dreams – Part II

With the help oflucid dreaming, i.e. programming yourself for a specific dream, you can get answers to questions that remain open in real life and reveal some secrets of your personality. This is the last five steps in a 10-step guide to dreaming what you want to dream:

6. Learn to enter in the altered states of consciousness, which accompany us before and after sleep. Do not fall asleep immediately, as soon as your head touches the pillow, and do not jump out of bed immediately after waking up. A state between dream and reality is a sort of window to the worlds where we can get important information.

7. During falling asleep, when you are in such an altered state of consciousness, vizualize the smallest details of the picture you want to dream. Engage your imagination and fantasy

8. When you wake up, do not rush back to reality and try to cling to the remnants of the picturesthat have not yet completely evaporated from your mind.

9. When sleep completely leaves you and you are fully awake, write down everything you remember, and everything that pops into your mind, without getting out of bed.

10. If you had a deliberate approach to the dream programming, then you will meet what you wanted to see in the description of your dream. Training yourself in this way every day, you will achieve great results, and then your dreams will become your faithful helpers and allies in the real world.

 

The whole article can be read here

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10 steps to programming your dreams – Part I

In our dreams we encounter the subconscious, which can tell a lotabout our lives and help resolve difficult situations. With the help oflucid dreaming, i.e. programming yourself for a specific dream, you can get answers to questions that remain open in real life and reveal some secrets of your personality. This is a 10-step guide to dreaming what you want to dream:

1. A few hours before bedtime, try to relax and not to overload yourself with unnecessary emotions and experiences, dense meal and physical exercise.

2. Decide on what you want to dream. It should not be a detailed description of the plot, because dreams are built on their own internal logic. Specify what kind of intellectual or creative problem you want to solve, or maybe you want to visit a foreign country, go on an adventure or see your relative who lives far away. In any case, the task should reflect a real situation that bothers you.

3. After specifying the purpose you want to accomplish with the help of your dreams, write it downon a piece of paper.

4. Now you need to get ready for remembering your dream. To do this, put a pad and pen next to your bed in order to write down as more details as possible just after waking up.

5. Program yourself for waking up as soon as you dream what you want to dream. The fact is that in one night we can have several dreams, but, as a rule, we remember only the last one. So it is necessary to wake up as soon as the desired dream ends.

This is a part of the article written by Anna in Learning Mind

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12 Habits that will make you a happier person

On the site to Learning Mind they talked about being happy, and for us up in northern europe we are going into the dark times. Meaning that it is winter and the sun isn´t that much here and it is cold. In this time of the year we are more prone to depression, bad mood and sometimes we feel particularly unhappy. But maybe it has to do with the habit of complaining and shifting the blame to the bad weather? Much better is to replace bad words and habits with the good ones that will help us keep a positive attitude and feel happy even in gloomy autumn days.

1. Appreciate every moment

Live today and now. Rejoice every detail: a sunny day, a beautiful scenery, an interesting book, a smiling stranger. Think of someone that cannot see, hear, feel… But you are lucky, so appreciate this.

2. Do what you like

You cannot do every day something that makes you feel unhappy (uninteresting work, annoying “friends”, unloved people). Everyday stress not only prevents live fully, but also deprives health. Find a way to give up things and people that prevent you to be happy and enjoy life. Do not waste your energy on something that does not bring you joy or somebody who does not deserve you.

3. Do not try to be perfect, always be yourself

Do not try to be perfect in everything, it is impossible. Improve yourself, but enjoy the process itself,do not torment yourself with unattainable images. Do not imitate unthinkingly, keep your individuality.

 

Read the rest of the article here

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Powerful mentoring/coaching sessions

Some coaches also are posting a series of questions and enough questions for a whole year or so, and here we are talking about different situations.

 

* Establishing Trust-

A. What expectations do you have as a result of our coaching session?
B. What are your short and long term goals?
C. Have you ever been coached before? (have them describe their experience)

* Focus-

A. What do you want to accomplish today?
B. What’s the priority?
C. Where do you want to start?

* Possibilities and Options-

A. Do you have ideas for a solution to the problem?
B. What ideas do you have to help meet your goals?
C. What do think would happen if… (I left the total solution up to you)
D. What other ideas could help you meet your goals?
E. What do you prefer to try and why?
F. If you were sitting in my chair how would you handle this?

* an Action Plan- (setting SMART goals)

A. What is it that you will accomplish? I will (they need to be specific, also
realistic, too many goals are not realistic)
B. What will success look like? Needs to be measurable (quantitative)
C. Tell me one step can you take now? Needs to be action oriented
D. Of all the options we discussed, which is the best? Needs to be realistic
E. When will you accomplish this goal? Need a definite time frame
F. What support or resources do you need to achieve your desired results? List
and reaffirm your support (be specific about what you are willing to offer)

* Barriers-

A. What roadblocks do you expect?
B. How will you overcome?
C. Is there anything in your way now? If so, what?
D. If all roadblocks are removed, is there anything else that would prevent you
from succeeding?
E. What concerns do you have?

* Commitments and Goals-

A. What will you do and by when?
B. What resources will you use to complete your next steps?
C. What are your next steps?
D. What do you commit to completing by next meeting?
E. How do you want me to hold you accountable?

* and Measure Results-

A. How do you feel about your actual results compared to your goal?
B. What’s working? What’s not working and what will you change going
forward?
C. What measures did you put in place to help ensure your success?
D. What roadblocks did you face and how did you deal with them?
E. Since our last meeting what have you learned about yourself as it pertains to
goal setting?

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Guest Blog: My life as a coach – Part II

What has it given me to be a coach?

  • Being a coach has made me a much more human.
  • It has taught me to be myself. It has taught me to trust myself and my feelings.
  • It has taught me to follow my heart and use my common sense into something positive.
  • It has taught me more about people, people’s dreams and behavior than 6 years of study and a lifetime has done.
  • It has made me a much better mother, friend, girlfriend and sister.
  • It has given me a career that today I’m really proud of.
  • I have worked with some of the largest business leaders.
  • I’ve trained a lot of great people on our coach education.
  • I have coached single mothers, people in doubt, men with identity problems and others
  • Helped people to start their careers, got entrepreneurs off the ground.
  • Lectured for 5 and 5000 people at a time.
  • Made radio interviews, television and advertising
  • Written and designed newsletters
  • Invented new tools and models.
  • Created a mastercoach education and a variety of courses in cooperation with Sofia and Chris, or alone.

I am both Sofia Manning and her coaching model deeply grateful. Naturally, also Chris Manning. But Sofia was the first in which believed in me.

I remember it like it was yesterday, she said, «of course you can make it happen, if that’s what you really want!», When I, in our first meeting,  said: «I will be coach, business coach and I will also give lectures one day»(something that I found at that time sounded almost more ambitious and unrealistic, that to go after the  Human Relations-work).

Had I known what a huge and radical influence the few words from her mouth, would have on my life. And how wonderful our journey together, I had carved them in stone or screamed aloud with happiness. Something like that.

I will have them in my memory for ever. And above all, coaching philosophy, has become part of my identity. A part of who I am and part of my life. I AM a coach. Thinking as a coach and live as a coach. In my eyes, there is nothing better.

If you want you can read more about Manning Inspire which is Mie Madsen´s work here (In Danish): http://www.sofiamanning.com