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Guest Blog: My life as a coach – Part I

In 2004 I was lying half asleep on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon and read a ladies’ magazine.

 

Even though I was in love, I still missed something in my life. Something that made sense and challenged me intellectually, something that gave me a feeling of meaning something  for someone, something that made ​​me forget myself. Something that was sufficiently creative, practical and interesting.

Basically I had no idea what I wanted with my life. When people asked me, I said that I would be Human Relations employee in the Danish Broadcasting Corporation. It was my dream. Out the proportions and totally unrealistic, I thought no, I was also fully aware of what it was? It’s almost funny to think back on. But it was far from funny when I was in the middle of it.

All for the ladies, paradoxical as it may sound, was the direct route to my career …

As today I would not exchange for anything in the world. Nothing. Nothing Human Relations jobs or other attractive positions. Let me say it straight away and say it out loud:

I have the best job in the world, best work day, students, colleagues and not least the world’s 2 best business partners, Sofia and Chris.

Today I am not using a minute to consider whether I am in the right place in my life – if I made ​​the right choice. I am exactly where I should be. As a coach, with a high C. And I love it.

You have guaranteed already figured out that it was not «only» The magazine  «Alt for Damerne» (Danish magazine) who paved the way for the happiness of my life. It was the woman I read about in the article, of course, none other than Sofia Manning.

I remember how exotic just her name sounded at the time. Sofia Manning.

The article and coach Sofia Manning asked primarily a lot of coaching questions:

What do you really want?

How would you live your life?

What prevents you?

What will it take for you to get exactly the life you dream of?

Question I had not thought about in many years, if ever. In 2004 I had, in spite of many years of psychology and communication studies at Roskilde University (in Denmark), never heard of coaching.

But something hit me. Right in the stomach and right in the heart. Something got me off the couch and started to write Sofia Manning an email. A very passionate email, which flowed from my fingers and was written finished in 10th minutes.

The email had one desired outcome: to meet this amazing lady and become a coach.

I still did not really know what coaching was, or why I would be a coach and have a coach training? But I would.

Sweet, well-meaning people around me thought it was a crazy idea for several reasons, and they spent a lot of time and energy to question me: «Why now spend time on yet another training? You already have a ‘real’ education. «Why spend money that you do not have to magnify your debt?» «Why on earth throw you into something you do not know what is?» Etc. etc.

Why?

 Because I could feel in my heart that it was true. It was just me. To ask questions and help other people. That simple. I knew it.

And I have never regretted. Not just 5 seconds.

(And I also have (almost) kept me from being the one who laughs last …))

Read more of Mie Madsen and her story in the next article.

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The Legend: Paul «Bear» Bryant

 

Have you ever heard about Paul Bear Bryant? I think you have, because he was one of the greatest football      coaches of all time. After he passed away his wife found a folded letter in his wallet. She never knew he had it, but because of the letters worn out of shape it was obvious he had unfolded it and read it over and over.

 

Here is what Coach Bryant read maybe every day:

 This is the beginning of a new day, God has given me this day to use as I will.

 I can waste it or use it for good.

 What I do today is very important. Because I am exchanging a day in my life for it.

 When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever. Leaving something in its place I have traded for it.

 I want it to be gain, not loss – good not evil.

 Success, not failure in order that I shall not forget the price I paid for it.

 

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Talent Management

 

Mentoring is a business and a professionl imperative, and, as such, it is an important aspect of talent development, helps to reduce attrition, improves performance and bridges expertise gaps. Thats what Sheila Forte-Trammel says. And she should know, she is co-author of the book «Intelligent Mentoring: How IBM creates value through people, knowledge, and relationships»

You can order her book on Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/Intelligent-Mentoring-Creates-Knowledge-Relationships/dp/0137130848

Human capital always looks for ways to close experience gaps, and metopes like formal training and classroom learning can help. But the real thing her should be active use of mentoring.

They say in the article that because of the experiential and practical nature of mentoring, employees who engage in this relationship are in a position to gain  insights on new and different perspectives on ways to execute various tasks.

Read the whole article here: http://smsepub.com/publication/frame.php?i=126486&p=18&pn=&ver=flex

Remember to also read  the «Make it Work» list on page 48.

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Celebrate your achievements

I have also contributed to «Favorite coaching questions», with a question I find important. When you are working to reach your goal I think it is important to celebrate when you reach it, therefore:

How would you like to celebrate when reaching your goal? 

And I think that is a important question because we can´t just thick it out of the to-do list and then go for the next goal. We have to celebrate to tell yourself that you have reach a goal, stop and lean back for a moment…

 

This is posted on my birthday 1st of october, and I am going out to celebrate with good friends and family.

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How to get a Fabulous Workday

It takes just as much effort to have a wonderful day as it does to have a miserable one. Why not enjoy yourself?

Want to have the best workday ever?  Day after day?  It’s not as difficult as you think.

 in Inc.com hese 10 tweaks to your everyday behavior will virtually guarantee you a day that’s not just enjoyable but allows you to get more done than you ever thought possible.

Read the whole article here: http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/have-a-fabulous-workday-10-tricks.html

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More powerful questions

A coach  was taught by her boss 3 powerful questions which she use to guide herself and coach her staff, after certain event or project or even appraisal

1) what have you done well
2) what can you improve
3) what have you learn

 

Another coach shared a simple but yet big questions:

«Only you know what you want and what is stopping you, are you prepared to share that with me?

 

 

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More favorite questions

In July 2010 someone post this question on www.linkedin.com and the subgroup Training&Development, people still post their question after 2 year. And their questions are really good, I will post more of them here.

Here are a women`s  favorite coaching question, but she admit, identifying just one favorite is difficult. But in the plethora of questions, the four below – or some variation – consistently rise to the top, so she offer them here.
1. What does success look like?
2. What is ONE thing you could do today to move in the direction of the outcome you want to achieve?
3. What are you practicing? What might be possible if you practiced {something different} instead?
4. What emotion is most natural for you when you consider {the current situation, barrier or goal}? What would you like to experience instead {or what would serve better you in moving in a different direction}?

More will come…

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7 steps to getting the most out of your vacation

I am now on my vacations in France, and have the best time with good weather, good food and good friends. But it is also a time to reflection and recharging the batteries, so I have always wondered if I am doing the right things. Am I doing the right things and will be ready for yet another working load.

Michael Hyatt has a podcast where he will tell you 7 steps to getting the most from your vacations.

Listen to it and maybe you will learn something and you will get more out of the vacations than before.

Listen here:

how to make the best out of your vacation

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Mentoring combined with training…

Every no and the I see different statistic all over the world, this one is from USA and from mentoring point of view it´s very, very good.

According to a study by the American Society for Training and Development,
training alone increased managerial productivity by 24%.
When training was used in combination with mentoring and coaching,
productivity increased by 88%.

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Mentor Resources – No. 3 on The Best Mentoring Blog 2011 list.

Over the past 10 years, Mentor Resources, a San Francisco-based executive and management leadership center, has created and managed partnerships, matching thousands of mentoring pairs to provide growth opportunities for the development of tomorrow’s corporate leaders.

 
The ability to match mentees with appropriate mentors, combined with their training programs, means that their mentees consistently overachieve – most reaching five year goals in only one year. This outcome is largely due to maximized learning and the mental and emotional information transfer by mentors. They invite us to see the world of mentoring through their eyes and they will show us a world that really works.