The inner dialogue

 

Every no and then I am surprised of how people talk about themselves and to themselves. I am characterized as an very positiv person and I try to be that. And I am always disturbed when people say that they are not going to manage this or that. I am trying to tell them that what you want is what you get and right no you DONT want to succeed. The answer I get is not suitable for writing, but Iḿ not giving up to pass on the positive message.

If we do a test: Pause for a second and think about the thoughts you’ve had all day today. Do a little audit of how many positive versus negative thoughts you’ve had since waking up.

I really hope that itś more positive than negative…

I use to say to people on my trainings and the people I mentor: «If you talked to your friends the way you are talking to yourself, you will have no friends»…

So tomorrow BE POSITIVE…

Some of my tools come from mental training, just Google it and you will find a lot of webpages.

My favorite is a Norwegian coach and mental trainer, Erik Bertrand Larssen, he has launch his two books about mental trying in English. «No Mercy» and «Hell week» are two exceptional books, read more on his webpage.

In Entrepreneurship, Mentoring Makes All the Difference

After interviewed almost 30 different entrepreneurs in 16 different countries for the book «Changing Lives – The Entrepreneurial Way», I have heard a thing or two about mentoring and the importance of a mentor. A mentor could be the one thing you do that can make you a success. The magazine Entrepreneur is having a lot of articles about mentoring an entrepreneur.

AYELE SHAKUR is Executive Director of BUILD Greater Boston and she is saying in the magazine Entrepreneur that many people question whether they have enough experience to be a mentor. Generally speaking she say, if you have professional work experience or have been in the trenches as an entrepreneur for over a year, then you have what it takes to be a good mentor and pass along your knowledge and insights to the next generation.
Mentors come in all shapes in sizes. Some are seasoned professionals, some are serial entrepreneurs, retirees, recent college grads and everything in between. What most mentors have in common is that they care about youth and are passionate about giving back.

 

Research shows that the skills needed to come up with a business idea, and then execute it, are the same ones needed for academic and career success. The ability to communicate and collaborate, to problem solve and innovate and to persevere through the inevitable highs and lows of launching a new business are the 21st Century skills needed to thrive in today’s economy.

If you want to read my book, you can click on the book cover and order it.

Changing Lives – The Entrepreneurial Way

FINALLY, the book is out!

I have gathered 27 stories from 16 countries in a 152 pages book. In all the years I have been working with youth companies I have been hearing all these interesting and unique stories about youth companies, that have gone out and done well in «real life». These are stories that I have used in my teaching, and when I talk to  and with people. And all these stories fascinate people…

This is an inspirational book for teachers, entrepreneurs or businesspeople. For everybody who’s working with entrepreneurship.
Here you can read about the impact Young Enterprise has done for the entrepreneurs lives. These are the future business leaders in Europe…

I will also like to thank Young Enterprise for their support, and especially Caroline Jenner.
Click on the picture and order a copy today

 

Happiness

Was one of you dreams about happiness?

The majority of us pretend happiness is around the corner, almost within reach. As long as we come to the other side of the New Year. Now if only we try a little harder, earn a little more, put a few more goals, find another partner, take one more training, get a second child, it happens … Then we are happy!

But «Project Happiness» is a mirage, which very rarely come true and even more rarely maintained for very long. Often we describe happiness as something that comes in flashes, in seconds or minutes at a time. But who says it need to be? Why do we think that happiness can only be experienced glimpses?

What is happiness for you?
And how are you trying to achieve happiness every day – consciously or unconsciously?

You know the saying: The glass is half empty or half full? It is up to you to decide.

I believe that happiness is a choice, and its a choice you make EVERY DAY!!!

Achieving Your Dreams

This is an article from Jim Rohn and is newsletter, get on the list her

While most people spend most of their lives struggling to earn a living, a much smaller number seem to have everything going their way. Instead of just earning a living, the smaller group is busily working at building and enjoying a fortune. Everything just seems to work out for them. And here sits the much larger group, wondering how life can be so unfair, so complicated and unjust. What’s the major difference between the little group with so much and the larger group with so little?

Despite all of the factors that affect our lives—like the kind of parents we have, the schools we attended, the part of the country we grew up in—none has as much potential power for affecting our futures as our ability to dream.

Dreams are a projection of the kind of life you want to lead. Dreams can drive you. Dreams can make you skip over obstacles. When you allow your dreams to pull you, they unleash a creative force that can overpower any obstacle in your path. To unleash this power, though, your dreams must be well defined. A fuzzy future has little pulling power. Well-defined dreams are not fuzzy. Wishes are fuzzy. To really achieve your dreams, to really have your future plans pull you forward, your dreams must be vivid.

If you’ve ever hiked a 14,000-foot peak in the Rocky Mountains, one thought has surely come to mind: “How did the settlers of this country do it?” How did they get from the East Coast to the West Coast? Carrying one day’s supply of food and water is hard enough. Can you imagine hauling all of your worldly goods with you… mile after mile, day after day, month after month? These people had big dreams. They had ambition. They didn’t focus on the hardship of getting up the mountain. 

In their minds, they were already on the other side–their bodies just hadn’t gotten them there yet! Despite all of their pains and struggles, all of the births and deaths along the way, those who made it to the other side had a single vision: to reach the land of continuous sunshine and extraordinary wealth. To start over where anything and everything was possible. Their dreams were stronger than the obstacles in their way.

You’ve got to be a dreamer. You’ve got to envision the future. You’ve got to see California while you’re climbing 14,000-foot peaks. You’ve got to see the finish line while you’re running the race. You’ve got to hear the cheers when you’re in the middle of a monster project. And you’ve got to be willing to put yourself through the paces of doing the uncomfortable until it becomes comfortable. Because that’s how you realize your dreams.

A challenge for you: DREAM

I know one thing for sure and that is that if you want your dreams and innermost desires fulfilled, then you will have to dare to risk inviting entire life, the highs and lows on the trip and say YES to your dreams.

The easter is over and you will maybe start to plan your summer vacation, and what is better to dream.

Write your dreams down, sign them, sleep/think on them.

Say them out loud. Tell your nearest you dream about.

And let your heart guide you, not your head!

Do you live or do you survive?

Many of us feel that we use our valuable life energy to survive our life instead of living it.

It is one of the things that I most often encountered among people I mentor. Many feel that they have created a life or has «drifted into a life» that they do not know if they want, and they certainly are quite sure that they do not have the energy to maintain. Simply because they are too busy.

The whole life is for many almost become a kind of project to be «done» and «get over». Many of us think sometimes: Is it really what it’s all about?

Many are living the beautiful life, or it seems that way, a life where you actually are not that satisfied with. Maybe they have an exciting job, a big house, beautiful children and a lovely partner. It looks good from the outside, but inside they are seeking and can not find out what really is wrong.

We forget, in other words, how lucky we really are.

So my advice to you is to stop and ask yourself:

Are you able to enjoy your life with an open heart, and you are fully present every day?

Or do you let life and all its opportunities slip by because you care about the past, planning the future and never really in the moment?

Easter is coming up and it is a perfect time to stop and reflect on this matter.

Happy easter!

CONFERENCE: PROFESSIONAL CONVERSATIONS | EVIDENCE BASED COACHING AND MENTORING

EMCC Nordic conference 21.-22. Sept 2015 in Oslo

The event is managed by EMCC Norway with the support of EMCC in Denmark, Finland and Sweden: plus the Swedish Coaching Psychologists Group (Coachande Psykologer).

The program is geared towards practitioners (incl. psychologists) who are committed to evidence based practices and actively involved in mentoring and/or coaching. Our goal is to create an event with round tables and plenty of room for networking combined with state of the art presentations and discussions. We want an exclusive event but a fair price, therefore we have chosen a venue limited to 100 participants. We also expect the event to fill up quickly.

Fill in the form to get the conference flyer plus exclusive, early access to registration – this could in fact become your only chance to get on board.

When on the list we will keep you updated about the conference, speakers, networking opportunities, interest groups and bonuses. You shouldn’t hesitate – this is a rare opportunity to meet interesting colleagues from across the Nordic countries.

Confirmed speakers cover both mentoring, coaching and coaching psychology: Prof. David Clutterbuck (UK), Prof. Reinhard Stelter (Denmark), Prof. TK Lang (Norway), Dr Kristina Gyllensten (Sweden), Po Lindvall (Sweden, EMCC VP Research), Jennybeth Ekeland (Mentoring program manager, NHH AFF) and Dr Paul O Olson (Pres. EMCC Norway).

As said above, the venue is limited to 100 participants and we expect to fill the room early. Avoid missing out and register her

Executive coaches help CEOs perform and survive

An article from Ray Williams in Financial Post

The job of a chief executive has never been more challenging or rewarding. Despite generous compensation, perks and attention it can be a lonely one. Which may be why boards and chief executives are increasingly turning to executive coaches to assist the heads of companies in their performance and growth and reduce attrition.

While earlier generations managed without coaches, leaders today face more pressures than at any other time. They must deal with rapidly changing markets, technologies and workforces, increased financial and legal scrutiny … and more. Top executives who feel that they can handle it by themselves are more likely to burn out, and make poor or no decisions, resulting in significant loss of opportunities, human resources and financial resources.

The CEO’s job is unique from several perspectives: No one else needs to hear the truth more, yet gets it less from employees; no one else is the focus of criticism when things go wrong; no one else is the final decision maker on difficult and often lose-lose decisions; and no one else enjoys the same type of hero-celebrity status and rewards.

According to the Harvard Business Review, two of every five new chief executives fail in their first 18 months on the job. And it appears the main reason for failure has nothing to do with competence, knowledge, or experience, but rather with hubris, ego and a leadership style out of touch with today.

Sydney Finkelstein, author of Why Smart Executives Fail, researched several spectacular failures during a six-year period. He concluded that these chief executives had similar deadly habits chiefly related to unchecked egos. David Dotlich and Peter C. Cairo, in their book, Why CEOs Fail: The 11 Behaviors That Can Derail Your Climb To The Top And How To Manage Them, present 11 cogent reasons why leaders fail, most of which have to do with hubris, ego and a lack of emotional intelligence. Call it overconfidence or ego, but powerful and successful leaders often distrust or feel they don’t need advice.

A study by Kelly See, Elizabeth Wolfe Morrison, and Naomi Rothman, published in Organizational Behavior and Human Decision, concluded one characteristic of powerful and successful leaders is high levels of self-confidence. Unfortunately, the researchers say, the higher the self-confidence, the less likely these leaders are open to advice and feedback. They also note that powerful leaders seldom get useful feedback at their organizations. See and her colleagues contend that the enormous stress leaders are under often produce anxiety, fear and physical illness, which strong leaders are hesitant to divulge over concern judgments may be made about their capacities.

One reason for this leadership crisis may be the gaps between how leaders see themselves and how others see them. Call it self-awareness. These blind spots can be career limiting. The wider the gap, the more resistance to change. It also makes it difficult to create a positive organizational culture where openness and honesty are encouraged.

Paul Michelman, writing in the Harvard Business Review Working Knowledge, says most major companies now make coaching a core of their executive development programs. The belief is one-on-one personal interaction with an objective third party can provide a focus other forms of organizational support cannot. A 2004 study by Right Management Consultants found 86% of companies used coaches in their leadership development program.

Marshall Goldsmith, a high-profile coach to leaders in Fortune 500 companies and author of The Leader of the Future, argues leaders need coaches when “they feel that a change in behaviour — either for themselves or their team members — can make a significant difference in the long-term success of the organization.”

Eric Schmidt, chairman and chief executive of Google, said his best advice to new CEOs is to have a coach“Once I realized I could trust him [the coach] and that he could help me with perspective, I decided this was a great idea…” he said. While he admits the cost of executive coaches, particularly a good one, is not cheap, he adds “compared to the decisions CEOs make, money is not the issue.”

“If you have a new perspective, if you feel better with your team, the board and the marketplace, then you have received real value,” Schmidt says.

Executives who rise to the C-suite do so largely based upon their ability to consistently make sound decisions. However while it may take years of solid decision-making to reach the boardroom it often times takes one bad decision to fall from the ivory tower. The reality is that in today’s competitive business world an executive is only as good as his/her last decision, or their ability to stay ahead of contemporaries and competitors,” Mike Myatt writes in an article, The Benefits of a Top CEO Coach.

Despite its popularity, many senior executives are reluctant to report they have a coach, says Jonathan Schwartz, former president and chief executive of Sun Microsystems, who had an executive coach.

While board members can be helpful, most leaders shy away from talking to the board about their deepest uncertainties, argues John Kador, in CEO Magazine. Other CEOs can lend an ear, but there are barriers to complete honesty and trust. “No one in the organization needs an honest, close and long-term relationship with a trusted advisor more than a CEO,” writes Kador, who reports conversations with several high-profile CEOs.

The much asked question about coaching is its return on investment. The majority of studies including one by Joy McGovern and her colleagues at  research firm Manchester, indicate that executives who received coaching valued the service between $100,000 and $1-million. Joyce Russell, the Dean of the Robert H. Smith School of Business at the University of Maryland contends that assigning a coach to an executive is nowviewed as a privilege and a sign the organization values the executive’s contributions and is willing to invest money in his or her growth and development.

In my Financial Post articles, Top Dogs are Lonely,The Second Fastest Growing Profession and The Seven Deadly Habits of CEOs, I outlined what is now common practice for chief executives — hiring a personal executive coach — and how it helps them perform better. Professional executive coaches can help leaders improve performance, reduce or eliminate their blind spots and be open to constructive feedback, not only reducing the likelihood of failure, and premature burnout but also providing an atmosphere in which the executive can express fears, failures and dreams.

Ray Williams is President of Ray Williams Associates, a company based in Vancouver providing leadership training and executive coaching services. He can be reached at ray@raywilliamsassociates.com

Can coaching kick-start your career?

This is an never-ending story, can it or can it not? In my mind a coach can really kick start your career end of story. I can come with a lot of example, but I will let you read an article by Susanne Gargiulo that she wrote for CNN.

Bill Clinton had a coach, Oprah Winfrey used one to help her get to the top of her career and, of course, top sports stars have them.

But the chances are you might have one, too, as according to a recent study by the Institute of Leadership and Management (ILM), coaches in the office are becoming almost common place.

In the survey of 250 UK companies, 80% said they were using or had used coaching, and another 9% were planning to do so. «We were surprised that it was so widespread,» says David Pardey, of ILM, «particularly because we did the survey in the middle of a recession.»

A 2009 study by the Chartered Institute of Personnel Development confirmed that even during the economic downturn coaching remained buoyant; 7 out 10 companies surveyed reported increasing or maintaining their commitment to coaching.

According to Pardey, coaching is a tool that enables people to perform to their full capability. «It’s the difference between knowing how to do something and actually doing it in practice,» he says. 

«So from an organizational point of view it can maximize your potential and take you from average to excellent. If everyone in the company were performing as the best person, the difference would be extraordinary.»

For individuals like David Fitzgerald, executive vice president and partner at CB Richard Ellis New England, coaching elevates his game. «I like to win, and coaching helps me to win even more,» he says.

Coaching has been finding favor among companies for over a decade, according to Ginger Jenks, an executive coach, founder and president of Magellan Enterprises in Colorado.

«Five years ago, coaching was in about 75 countries, now it is in about 110,» says Jenks who is certified with the International Coach Federation, where she has also served on the board.

Jenks believes that coaching is going where music and sports have always been.

«If you want to get to the top, you need a coach. In the past, I was a leader’s secret weapon. Now, a coach is accepted as a must-have for people in the top of their field,» says Jenks.

The reason for its growing popularity could be its win-win effect. The ILM study found that 95% of companies who used coaching said it has benefited the individual as well as the organization.

There are a couple of hitches, however. One is assuring that a coach is fully qualified and a current lack of standardization means anyone can call themselves a coach. The second is cost. Coaching is not inexpensive, but that is a fact experts believe is pushing another growing trend in the industry; companies training and keeping their own coaches on staff.

«This is where we are seeing the real growth happening in terms of business coaching,» says Suzanna Prout, managing director of Xenonex Limited, an executive coaching and leadership development company.

Pardey agrees: «If you train people, it will pay off year after year, and then you have people working continuously to help others perform better. It will be a significant feature of successful organizations.»

That is what happened at Doncaster College in the UK, where principal and CEO George Trow, says coaching and management development has transformed the school from a poorly functioning one to a success story.

«When I came here, the college had had seven principals in five years,» says Trow, adding that both the student and financial performance of the school were inadequate.

To turn things around, Trow put 70 managers through a coaching program and trained ten internal managers as coaches. He wanted to install a coaching culture and this made the program financially sustainable.

Almost three years after the introduction of the coaching program, Trow says the student success rate has increased dramatically and the school is in a healthy financial state.

«What has happened is that we are seeing a more effective performance from people, better conflict resolution, better communication, and we have been able to deal with a lot of thorny issues that had been parked for a while,» he says.

According to Prout, what coaching does is help show «an organization’s blind spots.»

«It is about having that discipline to be asking yourself the tough, challenging and open questions that people often have a tough time asking themselves,» she says.