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Being a good coach is it the same as being a non-directive coach?

In my mentoring sessions I some time feel that giving advice or almost instructive, is the right way to go, but other feels that is wrong. And for coaching is also the same, when you are talking about directive and non-directive coaching.

Coach training programmes usually focus strongly on teaching the skills of non-directive coaching. This is a sensible approach, since people new to coaching and the helping professions typically see helping others as consisting of telling them what to do differently (or suggesting or advising, etc). Breaking this habit is difficult and so a relentless focus on helping the novice coach shift their attention away from telling the coachee what to do, to helping the coach learn how to surface and explore the coachee’s resources and resourcefulness is vital. The moment of breakthrough to non-directive coaching is a delight to observe and is signalled by the coach’s realisation that it is the coachee, not the coach, who has to do the hard work of discovering how to change! Indeed, one of the most reliable signs that a coach has «lost it» in a session is the feeling of trying hard!

Mike the mentor had a post on the subject some time back, here is the article, read it and make up your own mind.

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Communication is not rocket science

It`s possible to learn for everyone, It requires that you take responsibility. For yourself and your communication. 

The only one who can change anything is you.

Maybe we have all witness the security at an airport. Last time I was on an airport i witness a gentleman in front of me put his bags and things up at the Conveyor belt and is doing his best to make it quickly and efficiently. 

He forgets to take his belt off, and the security man told him in a direct and commanding tone, to take it off. While taking the belt of he said «Excuse me put it`s actually possible to tell me nice, I just forgot». The security guy almost shout «Just move it».

I don´t think anyone appreciate that tone, neither the gentleman, the security guy or the rest of the people in line…

This story and this type of communication is done daily, maybe once an hour, if not more often, in workplaces, in teams, to customers and among colleagues.

And if you think it is normal, then you’re right. But unfortunately it is also one of the most energy-draining, devastating and in many ways incredibly sad.

For it is really how we want to be?
Is this how we want it, and interact with other people?
What this leads to in the short and long term?

The older I get and the more mature as a person, the more evil it makes me to see and hear that we still treat each other like this and is directly co-creators of bad energy. And the worst of it all is that it is fairly easy to solve. 

It requires that you take responsibility, for yourself and your communication.

The only one who can change anything is you.

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The four excuses

There are four explanations, we humans often tell ourselves over and over again, when it comes to what is preventing us from achieving our goals.
We call them surface excuses, because immediately below them are deeper reasons why we fail to act.

These four excuses are just a few, we as humans serves up because they are easy and do not require of us that we really take responsibility and act.

Through mentoring, it is possible to get behind the defense mechanisms and act on what really prevents us, rather than focusing on the excuses that immediately seem accessible and reliable.

 

The four excuses are:

1 «I do not have time»
If you truly believe that you do not have time to work to achieve your goal, you must ask yourself if it is worth getting what you want. If you experience time as a problem, you know that it is because you do not prioritize your goals high enough.

2 «I have no money»
If you think that money can prevent you from achieving what you really want, so the goal is maybe not attractive enough.
What’s important in life is that we each find our purpose – that is what really matters to YOU​​, what you’re really passionate about, what truly gives meaning and quality of life for you.

If money becomes a goal in itself, life can easily become meaningless. As humans, we also have many other needs that must be met before we feel happy inside.
So if you continue to use your economy as the reason for not achieving your goals, it might be a good idea to work on this position possibly with your mentor.

3 «I do not have the skills»
Here it is important to realize that this is merely a belief, and that limiting beliefs can be changed in the same way as they were created, namely yourself.

None of those we know who have experienced success, had jurisdiction, since they started. Competencies when they first get down the road, as they have received the necessary training.

If you do not have the skills required to work in the field, it has set itself the goal, then I have an education, go on courses, training and thereby improve his skills and competencies. It makes no sense to declare themselves unfit from the start.

4 «I do not have the resources»
«I do not have the right network, I do not live in the right place, I do not have the right education» etc.. Etc.. Indicates that it is time to realize that resources will emerge as side benefits, as long as you begins to act.

If all those who have achieved the goals they have set in their lives, should have waited until they had the resources, most never be taken off.

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Set your goal

We think about things rather than emotions. We believe that when we reach our goals in terms of education, money, dream job, etc. .. When we one day see that everything will be exactly as you want it.

The truth is that this approach often creates more frustration than joy. For when we finally sitting in our «perfect house» with our «perfect wife / husband» and «the perfect job», we wake up one morning and find that all these external things really have not changed our emotional experience and given us what we initially wanted.

If you set yourself a goal that is an external things (ie something outside of you), you can instead ask:
What will give me when I get …….?

Will you try to be your mentor?

It’s hard to get what you want if you do not know what you want!

Your goal should be:
• Specifically,
• Measurable
• You must know when you are in the target

Now, think about what your five goals are right now?

Goal 1:

Goal 2:

Goal 3:

Goal 4:

Goal 5:

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Do YOU want to live your full potential?

 

 

 – Mentoring is about     discovering and utilizing your full potential –

 

 

The potential can be described as the sum of all your talents and all options – all you do and all that you can be as you get rid of inner and outer obstacles.

When you utilize your full potential, you are «the best version of you.»

Mentoring helps people to unleash their full potential and to dare to show it to the world – to bring it to life!

Here I will give you insight and some exercises that focus on your full potential and who you are when you’re the best version of you.

Before we continue, answers to these two questions:
On a scale of one to ten – to what extent do you live out your full potential?
If you could do or get exactly what you want and you can not fail, what would you choose?

When you set goals and start working towards the so change your focus. We begin to attract the things we need to reach your goal. If you’ve read «The Secret» is what this is all about – focus …

When I bought a green golf several years ago so I suddenly green Golfer everywhere. Before that Golf red, silver or black for me, because it was what I had seen most … I thought … The moment you have a friend who is pregnant, she will say that ALL is the pregnant now … focus.

The logical explanation is that people receive hundreds of sensory impressions per minute and therefore we need to sort them not to be overwhelmed.
Your brain is designed to help you. So if you pre-announced – albeit unconsciously – what you want to achieve, as it helps the brain more than happy to focus on and find what you need.

Therefore, mentoring and work to achieve their goals is not that difficult – on the contrary!

How can you read about in the next article that comes about only 5 days …

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Asking the right questions the right way

When was the last time you put yourself in the center?
Priority yourself high and focused on what YOU want?

In mentoring, it is your desires and goals that are in the center.
Focus is that you identify your own truth – that is, what is right for you.

The focus is always on your own truth because mentoring is based on two theses on people. One is that it is only ourselves who know what is right for us, and thus what makes us either to act or prevent us from acting. The second is that the probability that we act and when our goals are greatest if the action is based on what is important for just us.

Exactly this is the power of mentoring and what makes the method so effective.
To the one who must act, both are the one who knows what is the right thing to do – and who has ownership of it to be done.

Maybe you know this scenario (or something similar to) in your life:

You have in a long time had a desire to exercise more – and your neighbor tells you over and over again how incredibly nice and healthy it is to take a long walk early in the morning. With birdsong and fresh sweat. And you’ll always answer: «Yes, it sounds healthy. I should do! »

But do you get it done?
Most likely not.

Even if you have a desire to exercise more, then you will probably still not get going there early in the morning, right? Because you are not a morning person and do not like to run …

If your neighbor on the other hand had asked you a series of mentoring questions about your goals in terms of exercise, such as:

What type of exercise do you like?
What has prevented you from exercising?
What impact will it have if you do not start exercising?
What would give you if you started doing it?

Yes, so is the chance that you will start exercising a lot more actually.
As it is you yourself who have formulated, why it is important, and not someone else who has told you what is good – for her or him.

«Just do it…»

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Can mentoring and entrepreneurship solve Africa’s Problems?

Iqbal Z. Quadir state in an article at the website to John Templeton Foundation (WEB) that African entrepreneurs are the key to solving Africa’s development problems. It is they who can drive their continent’s economic growth and it is they who can make their governments better. If money is invested engaging the organic and transformative potential of local entrepreneurs, Africa will flourish. If money is poured into government bureaucracies – which hold back these entrepreneurs – Africa will continue to languish.

 So maybe we can just say that entrepreneurship is the new aid?

In February 2013 Alejandro Chafeun wrote an article in Forbes called:

“From Aid to Enterprise: How to intelligently cure poverty”. In the article he talks about creating lasting solutions to poverty, and that is what entrepreneurship is all about.

In October 2013 Innovation Africa wrote about an project in Kampala, Uganda were two-dozen entrepreneurs from every corner of East Africa to live under the same roof for five weeks in Kampala, Uganda. There, they receive training from 50 mentors and form relationships with dozens of potential investors.

Unreasonable East Africa is replicating a successful model called the Unreasonable Institute. This model is based in Boulder, Colorado and has had tremendous success. 82 companies have attended the Unreasonable Institute in Boulder the past four years. In total, these 82 companies have raised more than $30 million in funding, and 74% of them have secured funding within 6 months of attending the Unreasonable Institute.

East Africa boasts hundreds of startups that open shop each year. Many of them, however, fail due to a lack of experience, resources, tools and connections before they reach profitability. “We exist to help startup entrepreneurs to get over these hurdles,” says Joachim Ewechu, CEO Unreasonable East Africa.

Read the whole article her http://www.innovationafrica.org/2013/10/wanted-east-africas-most-unreasonable-entrepreneurs/

So for me with over 20 years working with entrepreneurship an over 12 years working with mentoring, my mind is set on combining those two must be the best solutions. You can have the best idea ever, but no network or/and a mentor, the chances for your business idea is not the best. But with a mentor the chances is increasing.

That’s why I became a part of Innovation Africa with my friend and partner Francis Stevens Georg. And the first country to work in is Sierra Leone.

So Francis (who was born in Sierra Leone), why Innovation Sierra Leone?

Well, when you take a walk down the streets of Freetown or some of our major towns and you see plenty of idle hands, young idle hands. What is amazing is that many are energetic, creative and full of ideas. These are the people with the solutions to our problems; they are the sources of innovative ideas and economic growth. We need to create a space, a platform for them to blossom! This is why I founded Innovation Africa. In addition;

  • Economic Development and Innovation are inextricably linked
  • The need to develop entrepreneurship and the private sector in Sierra Leone
  • The need to accelerate promising innovations
  • The need to enhance and manage Innovation in both the public and private sector

Challenges in social services, environment, education, agriculture and business calls for an innovation imperative

Entrepreneurship and Innovation requires less capital than it used to be!
 The technological opportunities for Entrepreneurship and innovation makes it possible to build great and sustainable solutions without the need for huge capital investments

Iqbal Z. Quadir is the founder of GrameenPhone in Bangladesh, and founder and executive director of the Legatum Center for Development and Entrepreneurship at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

His article her   http://www.templeton.org/africa/essay_Quadir.html

Dr. Alejandro A. (Alex) Chafuen ’84 is president of the Atlas Economic Research Foundation and a member of the board of advisors for The Center for Vision & Values at Grove City College. (The opinions expressed by the author are his own and do not necessarily reflect those of Grove City College, Atlas Economic Research Foundation, or their boards of trustees.)

His article her     http://www.forbes.com/sites/alejandrochafuen/2013/02/20/from-aid-to-enterprise-how-to-intelligently-cure-poverty/

To learn more about Unreasonable East Africa, visit www.unreasonableeastafrica.org.

Innovation Africa is her  www.innovationafrica.org

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Dare you learn from others?

Do you dare to let others learn from you?

As a mentor, you are a role model. Whether you like it or not.

Want to be a role model?

As a child we learn that a ‘copycat’ is not something to aspire to. Who wants to be a copycat?

One of the things I am talking about regarding menthe and mentor relationship is «to teach people to learn from each other». I don´t talk about «look at me – and copy it»… But with a finer word, we can call it knowledge.
And that’s something to strive for.

Maybe you have a colleague or some neighbor, look what they do and ‘copy’ it.
That simple. But something that many still often forget. Both at work and at home.

One of the biggest obstacles we people have is that we often think that all the others are much smarter, better, more fun and more successful than ourselves.
The truth is, in fact – to be little in the children’s perspective – «what you are saying is you yourself…»